The Ebb and Flow
by knowhere
Summary: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.
1. Truth or Dare

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 1: Truth or Dare

Author: Knowhere

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **In the past, I've had readers ask if I would write anything with Jess and Rory being younger. And I had answered 'no' as I like to write in the more open area of the future as I feel it offers a wider field of options of storylines. But this just popped up and I think it might be a fun piece.

The element of age is somewhat akin to that of _Lux et Veritas_, though the similarities end there. I thought it would be fun to see a Literati relationship develop like this for a change…

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

They officially met through a game of Truth or Dare.

At fourteen the game of secret telling and dares that made the heart thump with anxiety and excitement provided a buzz to every teenaged girl who was on the cusp of discovering the world. For Rory, being fourteen wasn't all that different from being thirteen. She didn't feel any different. Okay, so her body was changing a bit. Though she snuck a peek down the front of her tank top and added ruefully that the change was really slow in coming. She had already been fully inducted into womanhood with cramps and bad hormonal moods a while ago, but she still didn't feel much different from thirteen. Or twelve for that matter. She didn't feel any different.

"So Rory, truth or dare?" How did she get sucked into playing this game anyways? She'd rather be curled up in bed or under that big weeping willow in the park reading her newest book. But under the guise of appearing to be more social, as it was her New Year's Resolution, she had ventured out into her group of friends and five pairs of eyes were staring back at her, waiting for her response.

She fidgeted. "Uh, dare I guess."

The girls giggled with glee. What would they dare her to do? Becky suggested that she take one of the chalkboard erasers from their history teacher, Mr. Baldwin, and Mary said that Rory should toilet paper someone's house instead.

Stacey Newton, the blond with the riotous curls bouncing around her cubby angelic face got a faraway look and spoke up. "Rory, I dare you to kiss a boy. Right now."

Rory's eyes bugged out. Instantaneously, she backed out, "No, no way."

Stacey looked at her. "You can't refuse. It's a dare. And I dare you to kiss him." She pointed to a figure that was sitting on a bench, hunched over something.

Gnawing on her lower lip in nervousness, Rory shook her head. "Come on guys, I can't do that. Give me something else. I'll take the eraser."

Now with the other girls fully on board with Stacey's dare, they shook their heads back at Rory. "You can't say no. That's the game, Rory. Don't be so scared."

But she was scared. Kiss a boy? Standing on shaky legs, Rory stood and straightened her back. Forcing her feet to take one step in front of another, she mentally prepared herself by saying that there was nothing to be nervous about. It was just a kiss, right? Just two sets of lips touching. How hard could it be? She'd seen it enough on movie nights with Mom to know that all they do is angle their heads in together and touch. "Fine, I'm going."

The girls gathered around and stood while they watched Rory's retreating back. Rory snuck a glance over her shoulder and saw that they were all wide-eyed and giggling. Stupid game. Stupid friends. Squaring her shoulders, she approached the dark figure on the bench. Oh god, what if he was some adult? Or some stranger? On second thought, Rory didn't think it'd be much easier if it were someone she knew.

Coming around the bench, she got a side view of the person. Oh man, why did it have to be _him_?

Her mouth worked open and close like a fish and she struggled to say something. Anything to get this hideous ordeal over with. Her hands twisted together and she tugged down the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her fists, nervous fingers working the loose seam. As she struggled to think of something to say, he looked up at with an expression of expectancy that suddenly turned to mildly amused curiosity.

"Hey Rory." Jess closed his book but left his finger on the page to mark his place. When the shadow had fallen over him, he thought it was Laura. He had been waiting for the past fifteen minutes and it irked him to remember that she could never be on time. The movie was starting soon and he hated sitting in the front. But it wasn't his date that he saw. It was Rory who stood with a look of a deer caught in the headlights.

They weren't friends, per say, but they did know each other. As much as one resident of Stars Hollow knew another. He started working after school for Luke, bussing tables and whatnot last summer and Rory and her family were regulars at the diner. Not that Jess didn't know of Rory before that. They mixed in together rarely at town functions and whenever he used to drop by to see Luke. But before his part-time job at the diner, his knowledge of Rory Gilmore was nothing more than bare facts such as which street she lived on, who her parents were, and where in town she was most likely to be found.

But since Jess took the job that Luke offered, he caught frequent glimpses of the young girl. She usually liked to drop by the diner after school for a soda or a burger and Jess would see her when he started his shift. They didn't speak much other than him taking her order, but he knew her name and how she liked her burger done: medium rare, no pickles, extra onions. He had once teased her about the onions and jokingly asked if she was trying to scare someone off. But she had flushed violently and since she was obviously so embarrassed, it had made Jess regret his good-natured ribbing and he had since avoided any remarks that could have been misconstrued as criticism.

Jess's lips curled slightly at the corners, his brows lifting in question. "Hey Rory," he repeated. He wondered what she could want. This would mark the first time ever she sought him out. Their conversations only contained of him briefly asking how she was doing and she would reply with her choice of food. Sometimes they switched things up by added the elements of whether or not she wanted a refill of her soda or if he could please bring her more ketchup. But other than that, they didn't exchange actual conversation.

It seemed to jolt her into awareness. "Oh, hi Jess," she replied as if he had been the one to show up out of the blue.

He waited for about thirty seconds but when she still remained standing awkwardly to his side, he cocked his head. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong." She rocked on the balls of her feet and saw her friends staring at her while some made shooing gestures with their hands. If only the earth would open up and just swallow her whole right now.

Jess kept his book balanced on his knee and gestured with his free hand. "Do you wanna sit down?"

"Um, sure, okay." She sat down and presented her friends a view of her back.

Trying not to laugh in confusion, Jess pursed his lips. "Rory, are you sure you're okay?"

She leaned forward, trying to capture his lips before she lost anymore of her nerve, but found her torso falling into his chest instead.

He caught her on the upper arms and eased her back a couple of inches. "You okay? What happened?"

"Pebble. Trying to shake it out," was the first lie that popped into her mind.

He chuckled under his breath but still held onto her elbows. "Was the pebble in your sweatshirt or your shoe?"

The one thing about herself that she hated was that when her emotions got frazzled and sapped, she couldn't stop from blurting out the truth. "I'm on a dare. I'm supposed to kiss you."

"Oh, I see." Without moving his head, his peripheral vision caught sight of a group of young girls around the age of Rory huddled in a circle. "I take it your friends are watching you."

Rory nodded. "I'm sorry, I'll just leave now."

Jess smirked and tugged her closer by her elbows. "I've never turned down a dare."

"It's not your dare, it's mine."

"I think it's ours now."

His face came closer and Rory's eyes widened in surprise and held her breath. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna make your friends think that you had the balls to come up and kiss me." He chuckled and shook her arm gently and his voice took on a teasing quality. "You might wanna breathe, though."

She hissed out a breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Ready?" He didn't give her the time to reply because suddenly his lips were on hers. He angled his head to the side and kissed her sweetly with all the chaste pressure and passion as if he were fourteen and Rory's classmate instead of a eighteen year-old who was getting his fair share of experience with the opposite sex. Pulling back, Jess smiled as Rory kept her eyes firmly shut. "You can open your eyes now."

Her big blues fluttered open and she found out that his eyes were a warm hazel. "Uh, thank you?"

Jess released her arms and grinned. "Thank _you_."

She stood and fingered her lips without being conscious of the fact. "I should probably go now."

"Yeah, I think your friends are waiting for you." He glanced up at her. She walked away without another word and Jess saw that she once more touched her lips. He grinned and looked over his shoulder to the girls and when Rory snuck a glance at him, he winked.

Jess shook his head and opened his book again with a smile, confident in the fact that he just gave Rory Gilmore her first kiss.

* * *

She had avoided him like the plague for a month after the infamous 'Truth or Dare Day' and in doing so, she came up with plenty of excuses as to why she didn't want to go near, around, or into Luke's Diner. Her mom and dad had looked suspicious but when she told them that she was reading _The Jungle_ and suddenly had lost her appetite for meat, they took her excuse as they did with every new novel that entered into their daughter's bookshelf and subsequently affected her thinking or behavior.

But she hadn't remembered that Luke sometimes sent his nephew out to do deliveries and when she was sick from school one day, Rory was surprised to see Jess on her front porch with soup and crackers in the bag that he held.

"Delivery." He smiled when her face paled at the sight of him. Jess hadn't been blind to the fact that Rory hadn't been into the diner since that day and it amused and flattered him to think that she might have begun to harbor some sort of crush on him.

"I'm sick," was the first thing she thought to say, hoping that Jess would run in the opposite direction in fear of germs.

"Yes, I heard." His words were solemn but his eyes held a devilish twinkle. "The town's all beside themselves with the news. Mono, is it?"

"What?!"

He just laughed. "I'm teasing, Rory."

"Oh. Well, here and thank you." She shoved some bills into his hand.

"You okay? You're looking a little green."

"Just sick, that's all." She wanted him to go away.

But he hadn't left. In fact, they spent the rest of the afternoon on her couch watching old movies. It had been extremely awkward at first, on her part, but Jess had teased and joked her out of it. By the time Rory had polished off the soup and popped in the second movie, she felt better and less uncomfortable with him. When it was time for him to leave, she had all but forgotten her previous embarrassment.

* * *

Rory spent that summer in the diner sitting at the counter and was swirled into her first serious crush. She listened in rapt attention as Jess talked about the book he was reading and to her surprise and delight, he didn't criticize her or laugh when she offered her own opinions as well. She liked that he would loan her his books and he even went as far as marking pages that he thought she would find interesting. When she was in bed on those hot, sticky summer nights with the windows open to catch any stray breeze, it was the sight of Jess's neat scrawl that was illuminated under her flashlight. It was his thoughts and feelings about the novel that reverberated through her mind as she fell asleep.

The highlight of her summer was the annual library book sale when the local booksellers would donate books. When Jess had asked if she wanted to come along with him, she agreed with a wide smile and he made her week as he bought her pile of books and walked her home with them bundled in his arms. Rory woke every morning that summer excited to go to Luke's to see Jess and to listen to him talk about the latest book that they shared.

Jess was well aware of Rory's budding feelings but he couldn't deny the fact that he enjoyed seeing her in the mornings after the first breakfast rush crowd. He liked listening to her ideas and hypotheses of books with a wisdom and knowledge that was above her fourteen years. He felt relaxed knowing that talking with Rory was distinctly different from conversing with girls his own age. With the girls that he dated occasionally, every conversation held an undercurrent of expectant tension. But with Rory, there wasn't that tension because even though Rory might have been developing a crush on him, Jess knew she was still too young to really understand the pull of sexual energy.

And so even though he was developing a new friend in the young brunette that watched him with enthusiastic eyes, he didn't feel guilty because he didn't lead her on. He never went beyond the boundaries of a friendship. They never touched other than the friendly bumping of the shoulders when he walked her home, or the playful shoves she would give him when he teased her. Jess never saw her after dark or near the time of her curfew and he always met her at the diner or somewhere public like the gazebo. They only spent an hour or two together at the most, but he had come to find himself expecting to see her in the mornings and he took to the habit of saving her favorite coffee mug for when she appeared. The sunny yellow one with the daisies painted on. It was a happy way to start the morning with a cheery mug, she said.

It was Jess who gave her his freshman English novels when school started. And when she walked through the halls during that first day of high school, it was Jess who stopped to say hello to her. Rory had smiled while her friends giggled and ogled the handsome senior who had causally told her that he would see her after school for her daily burger.

Just as promised, he was there with the usual burger and coke. And to celebrate a successful induction into the life of a high-schooler, he even threw in a sundae on the house for her.

* * *

Jess highlighted a paragraph in his poly sci textbook and made a notation in his notes on the nightstand. His second year at a local college was proving to have more homework than the first. He had briefly contemplated about moving out into his own place but the rent was higher than he could afford and he wasn't really all that antsy to leave his home anyways. His parents made it clear that he was welcomed and even made a case for him to stay while he saved up more money if he wanted to transfer to a university. Jess thought about Boston University, NYU, or Columbia and played with the idea of living in a city.

The tentative knocking sound echoed throughout his room and Jess shifted on his bed and squinted to see that his clock read 2:37 A.M. He set aside his glasses used only for reading and looked around, listening. What was that noise?

He threw off the covers and cracked open his shutters to find himself staring into a pair of red-rimmed eyes that were usually so vividly blue. "Rory? What's going on? Are you okay?" He opened his window and was glad that his room wasn't on the second floor. Rory had never been in his room before and they limited all visits in each of their respective houses to just the living room or kitchen. Somehow, Jess knew that it was crossing some sort of invisible line if he were to ever invite her into his room. He watched as she soundlessly climbed through the windowsill and over his desk. He steadied her elbow and guided her to sit on his bed. "Ror? What's wrong?"

She leaned forward and her hair formed a dark curtain. She opened her mouth but fresh tears welled in her eyes and she hiccupped instead.

Jess knelt down in front of her and tipped up her chin. "Was it that Forrester kid? I told you he wasn't good enough for you." Damn, if that giant beanpole laid a hand on her—

"No, it's not Dean." Her voice was rough.

"Then what is it?"

"It's—" Her voice broke. "My parents. Dad." She cried. "He left. Tonight. They fought. And he left." Wheezing in a breath, she shut her eyes still replaying the image of her dad driving away at midnight with a duffle bag that was filled haphazardly with clothes.

"Oh, Rory." Jess mumbled and without another thought, he opened his arms and tugged her into his body. Other than friendly high-fives or the occasionally shoulder squeeze, he hadn't touched her like this. Jess shifted onto the bed as her tears became sobs. Her body shook and he tightened his arms around her while leaning against the headboard, cradling her gently against his chest.

She eventually cried herself to sleep and Jess reached down to untie her shoelaces. He dropped her Chucks next to his and tugged her body down to lie down on the bed. He shifted her under the covers and tucked her in with silent efficient motions. He was about to head out to the living room to sleep on the couch when she whimpered in her sleep and mumbled out for her dad to not go. Knowing that he couldn't leave her like that, he scrubbed a hand over his face and breathed out a sigh as he moved to sleep on top of the covers.

Sometime during the night she stirred and he pulled her against his chest with a protective arm around her waist. When he woke at the sound of his alarm and saw that Rory had snuggled into his arms and that his leg was thrown over hers, he knew that he had just crossed some invisible line. Though nothing had happened, Jess knew that she was barely sixteen and he was newly twenty.

She muttered in her sleep and Jess couldn't stop himself from pulling her close and kissing her forehead. When he felt the warm press of her breasts against his chest, Jess knew without a doubt that he had changed some element of their relationship willingly and with his eyes wide-open in the bright light of morning.

* * *

**AN:** Well, what do you think? Please review after reading.


	2. Close for Comfort

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 2: Close for Comfort

Author: Knowhere

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Thanks for the reviews and the comments.

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

She awoke on a strange bed and her eyes were swollen shut and caked with dried tears. Rubbing at her face, she glanced around and took in the sight of Jess's bedroom. It was masculine with the dark blues and light grey color scheme and he had big bookcases that lined two of his four walls. They were made from a deep solid wood they were shiny and boasted his impressive collection. It surprised her to see that the room was fairly clean, there weren't clothes lying around or loose papers littering his desk. In fact, everything was neatly gathered in piles, shelved, or put away in their place.

"Good morning."

Rory turned at the sound of his voice. It had grown deeper since they first became friends and she could understand why some voices were much more attractive than others. Jess's had a sandpaper quality to it, like he didn't use it often and had to kick start it into working. She tried to smile at him. "Morning."

He walked into the room but left the door wide open. Sitting at the desk, he kept his distance. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty lousy." She tried to insert a bit of humor into her voice but failed as she told the truth.

He smiled gently. Comfortingly. "Want some breakfast? My mom made some scrambled eggs before she left for work this morning. They're not Luke's, but they're not that bad." Jess let his eyes sweep over her, taking stock of her appearance. "Does your mom know you're here, Ror?"

She looked down guiltily and eyed his pillow, wanted to just crawl back into his bed and shut out the world. "I left a note."

He nodded and spoke carefully. "Rory, I think I should take you home."

She knew he was right, that she should go home and not worry her mother, but it suddenly felt like he was trying to get rid of her. Unbalanced with all the emotions already coursing through her, she couldn't help but feel that she wasn't wanted anymore. Standing up quickly, she tried to tug on her sneakers with tear-filled eyes. "Yeah, sure, okay."

Jess worried at the sight of her sudden burst of activity and crouched down in front of her as her fingers struggled with a knot in her laces. His hands reached out and stopped the fumbling. "Rory, stop."

She struggled against his intervention and only tried harder. Their hands warred briefly and she was loosing her tight rein on her anger and frustration. "I can do it. Let go!"

His hands left the shoes and went to grasp her face in his hands. "Rory, stop!"

She got angry and dropped her sneaker and raised fists up to his chest. "Don't tell me what to do!" She pounded his chest in a few strong thumps. In the back of her mind she knew she was being utterly irrational, but it felt good to hit something, to have some sort of outlet for emotions she was unfamiliar with feeling.

Jess let Rory hit him a few times and moved his arms to encircle her body. When he held on tighter and pulled her into his body, he felt her fists taper off into weak attempts. "Shh."

Instead of feeling comforted, she just launched into further anger instead. "Don't try to calm me down! Stop it!" But when he just held her tighter, she burrowed into his chest.

"Okay." He acquiesced.

Rory's tears ran down the side of his neck, sliding down hotly. "They've fought before. Why would he leave this time? I thought they were happy."

Their position was awkward with her leaning into him and him crouching. Getting up, he moved his way onto the bed and sat them down with her between his legs. He stayed quiet, knowing there was nothing he could say to make it better. He also knew that she wasn't looking for words from him anyways.

"Why would he leave?" Her voice trailed off. "Why would he leave us? Me?" Her mumblings dwindled down and became nonsense.

He rubbed her back in slow motions, sweeping up and down, from her loose tangled hair to the bottom of her sweatshirt. Jess glanced over at the clock and saw that his afternoon shift for Luke would be starting in half an hour. Grateful that it was Sunday, at least he didn't have to worry about getting Rory off to school in this condition. He normally wasn't all that good with emotional girls, not forming a deep enough commitment to ever have gotten to this phase in a relationship.

Guiltily, he noted with a self-deprecating voice, he liked feeling Rory in his arms. He liked knowing that she came to him out of all her friends in the middle of the night seeking solace. God, what kind of guy was he to be thinking of these things when she was so obviously hurting?

But it did feel good and a nagging voice said that it felt better than just the action of comforting her. It felt good on baser levels. Purely physical ones. And he had no right to be thinking of those things. Not now, not ever.

* * *

They walked silently on the way to the diner. She wore one of his button-down shirts with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. He hadn't taken her home like he had suggested earlier. Her mom would have gone to work anyways and Rory justified it by saying that her phone was on. If her mom were worried, she'd call. Jess seemed to accept that answer and dropped the subject of returning her home. Rory didn't want to be alone and so when Jess told her that he needed to be at work in fifteen minutes, she just followed him without asking and he thankfully didn't question it or deny her.

"You gonna do that basket auction next week?" Jess spoke up from her side knowing that letting Rory's mind stew away in her thoughts was probably not the best course of action for her right now.

"Yeah." She bobbed her head and glanced over.

"Know what you're going to make?"

She smiled, her face tightening at the action. "You know I don't cook."

"Oh, right." He smirked but his heart warmed at the sight of her smile, no matter how strained it appeared.

"You going to be there?"

Jess nodded and slipped his hands into his pockets. "Yeah. Wouldn't miss it. Caroline is looking forward to it and so obviously she wants me to bid on her basket."

Rory had met Jess's reoccurring date, Caroline, a few times at the diner. She was a pretty blonde that lived on Crescent Drive. She had one of those little apartments that she shared with a couple of roommates. Jess didn't really have girlfriends and never once introduced a girl to Rory as such, but he had been seeing Caroline on a pretty frequent basis. Rory's initial crush on Jess had lessened as they grew to be friends and she wasn't so naive to think that Jess didn't date. Nor was she jealous. Jess never cancelled on her to go out with a date and he was always there in the mornings with a cup of coffee.

And Rory had a few of her own dates as well. At first it was thrilling to have the new boy at school, Dean Forrester, pay attention to her. When he asked her out, Jess somehow caught wind of the fact and gave her a talk about guys. Instead of bothering her like it should have for Jess to have butted into her life, Rory just smiled as Jess told her that she should never feel like she owed Dean anything and that if he hurt her, he would be there to gladly kick his ass.

So when Dean kissed her for the first time and made Rory feel nervous with the new concept of French kissing, it was Jess she went to for advice. Jess's first question was if Dean had kissed her without her approval and after a few minutes of talking Jess down from his building rampage, Rory had found out that it wasn't always that sloppy or wet and that every kiss certainly did not require tongue.

"That's nice of you to bid on Caroline's basket."

"I guess."

They arrived at Luke's and Jess held open the door for her. The bell tinkled with a welcoming noise and Luke looked up from the counter and nodded in greeting. "Hey Rory."

"Hi Luke. Could I get a root beer float please?"

"I got it." Jess slipped behind the counter and grabbed the tall glass and ice cream scooper. He dished out a bit more ice cream than normal and loaded the top with whipped cream. Setting it in front of Rory at the counter, he winked at her and walked into the backroom to do some shelving.

Luke's gaze didn't miss the interaction and he noted with curiosity that Rory's shirt looked a lot like one that his nephew had been wearing just last week. But he held his tongue, remembering the way Lorelai had looked this morning, haggard and red-eyed, much like her daughter right now. "Your mom was in here earlier."

Luke's gruff voice floated softly over the counter and Rory looked up, startled. "Did she say anything?"

"Only that if I saw you, to tell you that she'd be at the inn late tonight going over the account books. So don't wait to have dinner with her."

Rory nodded. "Thanks."

Luke just accepted her answer and went away to take some more orders. The diner was slowly filling up with the lunch crowd and Jess reappeared from the back to help out. He brought Rory a burger with a small heap of golden brown fries to go with her float. Throughout the lunch rush, he kept an eye on her, watching as she just ate her food, picking slowly at her fries, selecting only a few. She played with her salt and pepper dip and it appeared like she was separating the mixture when he walked by the counter to give another order to Cesar. Jess didn't say anything when Rory started to draw with her fingertip in her ketchup. But when he noticed that she had been staring blankly into her soda for the past five minutes with unseeing eyes, he was afraid that she would start crying again. "Hey, wanna watch a movie after my shift? My house?"

Her head whipped up. "Okay. What do you want to rent?"

Jess smiled and grabbed a few hot plates. "Ladies' choice."

Rory's heart lightened at the thought of relaxing in front of the television without having to think about her parents. She mentally catalogued what new movies available were versus the idea of watching something she'd already seen and therefore wouldn't have to deal with the element of a surprise ending.

"Hey Rory, thought I'd find you here."

Rory turned and was caught in a brief friendly hug. "Dean, hi."

He sat down beside her and thumbed through the menu. "What are you doing?"

Dean smiled and Rory noted that he really was a cute boy. "Just having lunch. You?"

"Looking for you actually. I wanted to ask if you'd be up to seeing a movie with me. There's that new action flick playing. Some of the guys at school said it's really cool. Great special effects."

"Oh really?" Rory tried to remain pleasant at the thought of maimed bodies and guts and blood spewing on the big screen.

"So, what do you say? Starts at five."

Rory chewed briefly on the inside of her cheek, finding the right words as her eyes sought out Jess. He was by the window waiting for an order from an elderly couple and when he scribbled down whatever it was, he glanced up over in her direction. His eyes quickly accessed the fact that Dean was now sitting next to her and he cocked an eyebrow in silent questioning to Rory, asking if she needed him. Rory just looked down and back over at Dean's waiting open expression. "Actually, I already have plans. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Dean looked disappointed. "Okay, well, I probably should have called you earlier."

"Maybe another time though."

Dean's face broke out in a shy smile. "Sure." He ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and caught Rory staring into space. "You okay?"

Rory's gaze sharpened. "Yeah." But she didn't offer anymore than that.

Jess watched the pair as he made his way slowly back to the counter, picking up stray plates and coffee cups. It wasn't jealously he felt, that was ridiculous, but a stronger sense of protectiveness of Rory that wasn't there before. He had always kept an eye out for her since they did start their friendship at a time where Rory was discovering boys and all that, but Jess's feelings of needing to protect Rory didn't go very far. She was his friend, albeit his younger friend, but he didn't feel like he was responsible for her. He knew she was capable of taking care of herself and Jess knew that it was one of the reasons why they became friends in the first place.

He didn't constantly feel like he was her big brother, and when Rory showed up at his work or at his house, he didn't treat her like a young puppy following around a master. He treated her like his equal, though sometimes it was evident that she wasn't. When their conversation veered away from books, it was obvious at times of their age gap. Especially when Rory had asked her questions about boys and kissing. But Jess took those questions in stride and spoke to her as if they were having any other conversation, never making her feel embarrassed for having such inquiries.

Seeing Rory now with a boy, especially since she had just spent the night in his bed and was now wearing his shirt, struck Jess with a sense of urgency to see if she was okay. It was just a few hours ago that she was crying in frustration to the point where she needed to hit something. Jess grabbed the coffee pot and topped off Rory's cup, watching Dean from the corner of his eye. Jess noted that they weren't speaking but Dean was staring at Rory. "Here," Jess slid a twenty dollar bill towards Rory. "Get whatever you want to see." Jess noticed that Dean was now paying a great deal of attention to him. "And pick up some snacks too, okay?"

Rory pocketed the money with ease. Jess always paid for their movies and snacks. At first, it unnerved Rory to feel like Jess was responsible for something that they both participated in but Jess had assured her that it was fine and he was more than happy to do so. He reminded her that he was the one working and she wasn't. "Okay. Chips and candy?"

Jess smiled. "Ice cream too." His eyebrow raised in mild curiosity when he saw that Dean was glaring at him. "You want anything else?" Jess's voice was noticeably cooler than before.

Dean shook his head and Rory swung her gaze with confusion between the two guys. She sipped her coffee and swirled in some creamer when Jess walked away to grab another order. Maybe she wanted to see _Pretty Woman_ or _Runaway Bride_. Rory didn't normally choose such girly movies when she watched them with Jess, but maybe he would let it slide this time since she was feeling so down. She had a feeling that Jess wouldn't utter a protest if she showed up with a chick flick.

Dean waited until Jess was out of earshot and glanced over at Rory. "You hanging out with him?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing. Its just…well, isn't he in college?" Dean had never really paid attention before when he came into Luke's but now watched Jess with a critical eye. He didn't know that Rory was acquainted with that guy. He always saw her with her girlfriends around the school campus.

"Jess goes to school in Hartford."

"And you guys are…friends?"

Rory shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She didn't like the way that Dean had just said _friends_ as if there was something bad or dirty hidden underneath that singular word. "Yes."

"I didn't know that." Dean frowned. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked." That was the first thing that popped into her mind. _Besides_, Rory added mentally, _what difference does it make who I'm friends with?_ It's not like Dean was her boyfriend. They'd only gone out on a few dates, mostly in a group with other friends, and he had only kissed her twice.

"And you guys are watching a movie today?"

Rory was getting annoyed and impatient. She didn't need to deal with this sort of thing right now. She didn't know or want to know why Dean was suddenly so interested in her friends. "Dean, I'm friends with Jess and yes, we're watching a movie today." She stood and wiped her mouth with her napkin and then balled it up. As habit, she collected her plates into a neat pile, not wanting Jess to have to clean up too much after her. But she winced at her mess, knowing that she could never really eat without sloshing her ketchup or spilling some coffee. "I'll see you around at school."

Dean hastened to get up and he followed her quickly retreating figure out the front door. He caught her by the shoulder. "Rory, wait." He shuffled his feet as she looked expectantly at him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said…" He grappled with the correct words. All in all, he didn't know why Rory was so upset. He had simply asked about Jess and was caught off guard at finding out that Rory was friends with a guy who was in college. "That. I shouldn't have said that."

Rory deflated and she relaxed. "It's okay. I'm sorry too. I've just had a hard day." She smiled, hoping to soothe Dean. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

When Rory showed up again that night tapping on his window, Jess opened it but wanted to tell her to go home. It wasn't right for her to spend the night; that much he was certain of. But when he saw that she was once again teary eyed, he couldn't make his mouth form the words. He didn't have the heart to suggest that she go home when she silently climbed onto his bed. She didn't even ask for permission, and while it wasn't that which bothered Jess, it was the nonchalant actions that she undid her sneakers and pulled up his covers to her chin that made him uneasy. She scooted into his twin bed without sparing him a glance and she closed her eyes just as easily.

He watched her the entire time, debating whether or not he should go sleep on the couch. His parents would wonder why and he didn't want to explain it just yet. It was obvious that no one in the town knew of Rory's parent's separation and he knew that Rory didn't want it to be public knowledge. So Jess got into bed next to her, sat upright and opened his book. He watched Rory's breathing even out and smoothed off some hair that had fallen into her face.

Jess woke up before six in the morning to find that he had spent the night sitting up, leaning against his headboard. However, it was Rory that had shifted. She curled herself into his body and had a knee over his. Her head was pressed into the seam of his jeans. He pulled her hand gently away and winced at the thought that it was dangerously close to his lap.

* * *

He knew what was nestled inside that little wicker basket. Two burgers with fries and a big slice of apple pie. He knew because he had packed it for her just this morning. What he'd forgotten was the fact that her dad normally bid and won her basket. Jess chided himself at not recognizing that it was clear that Rory had secretly, or not so secretly, hoped her dad would return to carry on the yearly tradition. But Jess stood in the back and watched as Rory climbed up the platform to place her basket down in front of Taylor and realized that Chris wasn't going to show.

Rory scanned the crowd and didn't see her dad. Surely he wouldn't miss this, right? They did this every year. She saw her mom standing next to Sookie who gave her an enthusiastic little wave. Rory smiled back but failed when she faced the truth that her dad wasn't going to appear with his usual smile. Taylor started the bidding but the crowd was silent, too used to seeing Chris bid on his daughter's basket. Rory bit down on her trembling lip when she heard Jess's voice ring out loud and clear with a bid of fifty dollars. She searched for his face and watched him pay for the basket and then disappear into the crowd again.

When he appeared at her side holding the lunch with an easy grin, Rory was surprised. "What are you doing?"

"I believe I'm having lunch with you."

"But…" she trailed off seeing Caroline appear in the background behind Jess, out of hearing range. "What about Caroline?"

Jess glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. "It's okay, she understands."

"You told her?" Rory was terrified at the idea of the whole town knowing that her family was having problems.

"No, I didn't tell her anything. She knows we're friends, that's it. She's okay with it."

She nodded but caught a glimpse of Caroline watching them with an expression that Rory was unable to name. Was it jealousy? No, it didn't look like it. Pity? No, not that either. Contemplation? She couldn't label it. Rory wondered just how 'okay' Caroline was with the situation. Jess didn't say another word about it and Rory dropped the question.

But when he started walking, Rory noticed that Caroline didn't take her gaze away either. No matter what it was, Rory sighed with relief. "Thanks, for…you know."

Jess smiled that smile that enabled him to charm his way into or out of any situation. "You're welcome."

* * *

**AN: **Read and review, please. Questions, coments may be asked and will be answered in forum. Writing updates as well as spoilers there as well.


	3. Crumbling Boundaries

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 3: Crumbling Boundaries

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Please note the change in rating. That about sums things up.

Reviews and comments are appreciated. If you want to know more about the story, ask questions, or read about my thought process in developing this story, head on over to the forum.

Thank you.

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

Two and a half weeks passed and in that span of time, she had spent exactly six nights at his house, always without a word to him as she climbed into bed, facing away from him on her side. But in the mornings, they always ended up touching somehow. Sometimes her leg was tucked between his or vice versa, once it was his arm that was looped lightly into the dip of her waist, but this morning, he awoke with the buzzing of his alarm to find that his hand was curved right below the weight of her breast, close enough to touch but not quite enough to cup her fully.

He pulled away with a grimace and scrubbed his face with his hands as he slipped out of bed. Closing his door behind him quietly, he ran into his dad.

Jimmy raised a brow. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

Jimmy smiled that smile of a father that said silently, _How stupid do you think I am?_ "Jess, your mom and I know."

Jess didn't need to ask but did anyways. "Know what?"

"We know Rory's been sneaking into your room at night."

Sighing heavily, Jess scratched his head. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because we also know that Chris has left and that you and Rory are friends." Jimmy paused to access the situation with a knowing eye and his voice intonation changed slightly. "And we also trust you enough to know that nothing's going on." He hesitated. "Right?"

Jess scowled. "Of course not."

"Why is it 'of course not'?"

"Dad, she's sixteen."

Jimmy lifted a brow. "So?"

"Don't be dense. You know exactly what."

He wanted to continue the conversation with his son, telling him that four years wasn't all that much in the greater scheme of things but now was probably not the best place for such conversation. Not once in the time of his son's friendship to the shy younger Gilmore had Jimmy noticed anything on his son's side to indicate that there was interest beyond friendship. There was never a glance, a touch, nothing. "Okay. Well, I'm leaving for work. Poptarts are in the toaster."

Jess mumbled, "thanks."

As he stood beneath the spray of his shower that morning, he closed his eyes and remembered the feel of Rory's warm body pressed up against his. And for the first time, his thoughts veered off a path that was never before traveled and Jess knew that she couldn't stay over anymore.

* * *

He shook her gently awake when it was around eleven thirty. "Rory?"

She rolled over and squinted. "It's morning?"

"No, but I think it's time for you to go."

"What?"

Jess breathed in deeply and knew that they were probably going to end up fighting somewhere along this upcoming conversation. "Rory, please get up. I'll walk you home."

She sat up in bed but kept a death grip on his navy blue comforter. "I don't understand. Why can't I stay?"

"It's just…not right, Rory."

"I don't get it. We're not doing anything."

Jess looked away but flashes of mornings whirled behind his eyelids. He had always been the first to wake whenever she spent the night and so when she woke up, she never knew how they spent the night entwined. "No, Rory, you know it's not right for you to be sleeping in my bed with me."

Her sleep-muddled brain could think of nothing to say but repeat what she had already spoken. "We're not doing anything."

Sarcastically, Jess responded. "We're not Joey and Dawson, Ror. We can't," Jess hesitated, "_you _can't, spend the night in my bed like this."

She nodded and peeled away the covers, slipped on her shoes and reached for her jacket. She opened her mouth to speak but she didn't know what to say. Tell Jess that she was afraid of sleeping by herself? No. Tell him that she felt safer knowing that he was there? No. Tell him that even though she knew he was right, she wanted to stay? No, she couldn't.

He stood and shrugged on his leather jacket. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

"No, thank you." Her reply came out bitterly.

Jess was tired and beginning to be irritated. He knew she understood why it was wrong for her to spend the night, but she refused to see it. His response was short. "We're not going to fight over this when we both know I'm right. And I'm also not letting you walk home alone when it's almost midnight. So don't even think about saying no again, okay?"

She didn't respond.

They walked quickly in silence and they didn't look at each other. When they arrived at her door, she didn't look back and only slid her key into the lock and went into the house. He waited until her bedroom lights went on and after a few minutes, he turned around and headed home.

* * *

Rory didn't show up at the diner that following week. Jess had expected that. Rory was never one to really face her problems head on. She liked to chart her potential routes and only then, when she had multiple choices, did she choose the one with the least confrontation. It wasn't the most flattering of descriptions about Rory's character but it was true nonetheless.

A week and a half later, still with no sight of Rory, Jess had arrived for his shift at Luke's to find that Caroline was sitting at the counter. He kissed her briefly in greeting.

"Hey."

He smiled.

"I haven't seen you around in a while."

It was true. It had been at least three and a half weeks since his last date with Caroline and he didn't deny the fact that he hadn't called her either. They weren't in a committed relationship but Jess could see that Caroline was probably hoping for one. "I'm sorry. I've been busy with school and work and…stuff."

Caroline narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything else. She had been passing by the diner one night when she saw in the window that Jess was closing up. She was about to go in to say hi when she noticed Rory coming out of the bathroom. Caroline had expected to see the younger girl leave the diner, but when she didn't and only waited for Jess to finish instead, Caroline became curious. Sure, she knew that Jess was friends with the girl, but she didn't really know the extent of things. They had left the diner that night together, but Caroline also noticed that not once did Jess touch Rory. They just walked in companionable silence.

Jess watched some sort of emotion flicker pass Caroline's features but it was gone just as quickly. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I have midterms coming up."

"Me too."

Caroline smiled, both sweet and seductive. "You wanna take a study break with me? Oh say, at my place?"

Jess smiled and leaned forward to kiss her quickly but with a deepening swipe of his tongue. "Mm, sounds good."

"They're _what_?" Shocked and muted whispers caught Jess's attention.

"Filing for divorce."

"Well, they were so young. Remember when she got pregnant in high school?"

Jess's eyes narrowed and he shifted his attention to the two women seated in the corner.

"They didn't get married right away, remember? Only after the daughter was born did they decide to get married. But yeah, I heard that they're filing for divorce."

Jess sighed. There was only one family that would garner that gossip at this particular time. Rory's family. But he hadn't known that things progressed into divorce for Lorelai and Chris. Last he heard they were just taking some time apart. But then again, it had been almost two weeks since he last saw Rory.

_Rory_. Damn. Jess knew that she must be taking it hard. She was a sensitive and emotional girl. Nothing good or bad, it was just who she was.

His focus snapped back to Caroline as she spoke. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Listening to them talk about the latest gossip?" Caroline had heard what had piqued his interest.

"Don't call it that." Jess snapped. Even though he knew that's what it was, gossip, he didn't want people categorizing what had to be horrible news for Rory into something so trivial as _gossip_.

Caroline recoiled. "Okay."

"Sorry, it's just, I don't like it when people talk about things that are none of their business."

Caroline couldn't help but ask. "What is the deal between you and Rory, anyways?"

Jess closed his eyes and grabbed a rag to wipe down the counter. "I've told you, we're friends."

"That's all?"

"Don't say it like that, Caroline. I don't appreciate it."

She nodded and changed gears. "So, will I see you later?"

Jess considered it. "No, something's come up."

Even though she expected that response, she still had disappointment clouding her voice, "yeah, I figured."

It didn't take a genius to figure out exactly what Caroline meant by her comment, but Jess didn't want to address it. He just watched her walk out of the diner and down the street.

* * *

He waited until after twelve thirty, thinking that Rory would show up knocking quietly on his window. But she didn't. And he worried.

He knew that Rory had tried to put on a brave face for her mother to see, not letting Lorelai know just how much everything was affecting her. Jess knew that Rory felt guilty and didn't want to add to her mother's already emotional turmoil. But Jess also knew that Rory would have no one else to talk to.

Slipping on his jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt, Jess zipped it over his bare chest and headed towards the back door at lead to the yard. He walked quietly and quickly down the few streets that separated the Mariano and Gilmore/Hayden household. Going around to the side, he saw that there was a dim light on in Rory's room and he tapped quietly, hoping not to scare her.

Rory appeared and pulled back the curtain but didn't make a move to open the window. Jess observed and almost felt the tears that were running down her face. "Open the window, Rory."

She complied and when he climbed through, soaking in the appearance of her room, he saw that family photo albums were spread out across her bed, littering her carpet with pictures from a happier time. Jess felt his stomach clench in response and watched helplessly as Rory just lay down on top of them, clutching a worn out stuffed penguin under her arms. Her tears were silent, but they racked her body. "Damn." He muttered beneath his breath.

She picked up a random picture, one of her dad holding her and smiling into the camera, and very calmly just started to rip right down the center, splitting the figure of her away from her father. Jess watched her methodically tear the side with her dad into four squares and then further dicing up the remaining pieces. "Rory, please stop." He crouched down on the floor and sat on his haunches. He reached out to steady her icy fingers. "Please don't do that."

Her voice was dull and hollow and it scared him to hear it. Never had he heard her so empty. "It's over Jess. He's leaving because there's another woman. And he got her pregnant. That's my dad for you. Always knocking people up." She laughed sarcastically, her tone unstable. "He's left to be with her. Maybe he'll marry her too. Maybe he'll invite me to the wedding. What do you think? I think I'd make a great bridesmaid. Or an usher."

"Jesus, Rory." He got up and swept off the remaining photos off her bed and climbed in. Jess gathered her into his arms and noted that she was chilled and moved like a wooden doll. "Don't say things like that." He positioned her into his body, pulling her close and tucking her head beneath his chin. Tuxedo, the stuffed penguin, was squashed between their chests and Jess reached down to pluck it out of her grasp. Once he placed it above their heads, Rory burrowed into his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso.

"He doesn't love us anymore." Her voice was muted from his chest.

"That's not true and you know better than that."

"No, I don't know better than that."

He pulled back a bit and smoothed her cheek with his palm. "Rory you need to get some sleep. Have you slept at all lately?" Jess saw that she had definite dark circles under her eyes.

"Can't sleep."

He watched her toy absently with the zipper near his chin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You told me to leave."

Jess sighed and shimmied down so that they were lying face to face. "You know that's not what I meant. It's just…it's not right for us to be sleeping together, that's all. I never meant to imply that you weren't welcome or that you couldn't come to me, Rory." He ended with conviction in his voice and it expressed his frustration and anger at her for not seeking him out and at himself for not being able to do anything about it.

With all the irrational opinion of someone who was exhausted and emotional, she answered, "You left me."

Jess's eyes scrunched tightly closed though he knew she couldn't have known just how much those words hurt him. He touched his forehead to hers, allowing himself that contact which he was certainly smart enough to recognize was wrong. "Don't say that." He felt her breathing whisper along his lips. "Don't say that."

Her eyes were closed but she felt his words as much as she heard them. "Jess, please…" But she didn't know what she was asking for. Please tell me how to stop hurting? Please don't go away? She didn't know.

Jess couldn't stop himself, he really couldn't. He didn't think much about it either. He just knew that she was hurting and that it stung him to see her broken up. He buried one hand into her hair and the other snaked around her lower back, settling right into the curve of her hip. Without much thought, he kissed her. Her lips were slightly parted and he just rested against her upper lip for a moment. When he felt her suck in a breath, he moved gently, applying the slightest bit of pressure. Jess's fingers massaged her scalp with gentle fingers and his other arm tightened around her back and pulled her even closer. He allowed her to slip one leg between his and he continued to kiss her.

Rory had fisted her hands into the material of his sweatshirt and before he knew it, the arm that was around her waist was suddenly touching bare skin, his large palm spanning most of the width of her back from the tip of his thumb to the end of his pinky. He licked softly at her lower lip, teasing her gently before he glided inside, tasting her. Her moan triggered his own and he edged closer, his mouth working hot and wet along hers. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders when he shifted her onto her back and she tightened her grip around him when he pressed her into the mattress.

Instinctively, she widened her legs and felt him settle into the space that she created. She ground her pelvis up into his without knowing what she was doing. There was only a building pressure that she was aware of. When she felt Jess tightened his grip in her hair she released a breathy gasp. He moved his other hand and cupped her jaw, pressing against her to urge her to open more for him. He was sliding in and out of her mouth with precision and possessiveness.

He licked a path down her jaw and kissed the side of her neck. Rory shifted to give him greater access and his responding groan was all that she could hear. Their lower bodies were moving in tandem now through layers of jeans and pajama bottoms, and when she lifted, he pressed down. When he rubbed his hips into her in slow agonizing circles, she cried out softly, a whimper that sounded purely of pleasure.

Jess moved back to her lips and reversed their positions, steadying her on top. She cupped his head between her hands as he cradled her body on his. As their tongues flickered across from one another, he ran his hands down her back, settling right on her bottom, pushing her down into his erection. Jess hooked his knees around the backs of hers and moved his hands restlessly under the fabric of her flimsy tank top. Using his knees to anchor her down, their bodies set a rhythm almost without them knowing it. Their kisses ate at each other and Jess's hand slipped under the band of her pajamas and came in contact with soft cotton.

Rory squirmed and felt Jess's hand cup her, pressing down. His other hand was at her side, trailing and brushing fingers at the outer curve of her breast. That pressure was building again and before she knew it, she bucked down into Jess's hips while his fingers inched dangerously close to her nipple. His thumb moved back and forth and the sensations of his kiss coupled with that of his hips and thumb was too much.

Something was building up to a peak. Rory gasped into the kiss, unsure of what was happening to her. "Jess, what's…"

In response, Jess quickly moved his head down and sucked hard at her breast through the light layer of her tank top. His tongue pressed flat against her hardened nipple and he thrust up hard, once, twice and listened as Rory squealed and he felt her slight tremor on top of him. He shuddered along with her and held her close, his breathing coming out in pants near the wet spot on her tank top .

After five heartbeats he rolled them to the side and just held her close as the guilt washed over him in great waves. "Oh _god_ sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice cracked and he breathed in quickly. In. Out. He edged towards hyperventilation.

Rory wanted to reply but found that she couldn't control her voice. She just held on tight and fell asleep to the sound of Jess mutter again and again, "I'm so sorry, so sorry."

* * *

**AN: **Before some of you get all...up in arms about this (if you are), wait it out until the next few chapters. That would be my suggestion.

I've made a post in the forum that discusses my initial feelings and thought process about this chapter. You're welcome to read and respond accordingly.

**Read and review please.**


	4. Adjustments for the Future

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 4: Adjustments for the Future

Author: Knowhere

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Nothing. The restaurant mentioned is not my creation; it is an actual place.

**AN: **Thanks for the response. It appears that the last chapter was generally well accepted. I'm glad. I think we're getting to the point where the story line is picking up with sufficient background having been shown.

Enjoy!

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

Rory's eyes fluttered open and met Jess's gaze dead on. She widened hers in surprise. "You didn't leave."

He shook his head. "No, I didn't." But he wanted to. He hadn't slept all night, he just replayed what had happened between them over and over in his mind, trying to pinpoint exactly when his brain shut off and his body took over. He had wanted to leave her bed, go home, and beat his mind up in the privacy of his own room. But he also knew that when she woke up alone, it would hurt her even more. And if it hurt her, it would eventually hurt him as well.

So he stayed, all night, uncomfortable in his clothes that held the evidence of what they had done. What _he_ had done. He had made a mistake and he wasn't going to deny or run away from it. He needed to be there when she woke, no matter how much he wanted to leave. It was a matter of responsibility. He also didn't let go of her all night. Jess kept her body cradled next to his, tight against his chest. He watched the rise and fall of each breath, hoping that he didn't end up hurting her any more than necessary.

"Rory," he started. "We can't _ever_ do that again."

"I know."

He felt a slight shock at her easy agreement. "You do?"

"Yes." She palmed his jaw, allowing herself to feel his skin, knowing that she would probably never be able to do it again. "I understand."

A look of pain entered into his face, distorting his handsome features. "Rory, I…" He trailed off, not able to find the words. _I can't begin to apologize for taking advantage of you like I did. I'm so sorry._

"It's okay, Jess. I understand. I really do. Last night was an…exception. Never to happen again."

He nodded and felt for a moment just how odd their conversation was. They were still lying nestled next to each other, but their words were anything but pillow talk. "I'm so sorry, Rory. I really am."

"It's not your fault."

He winced at the thought of her trying to calm him down or shoulder a part of the blame. It _was_ his fault. He knew better. "I should have stopped it. Hell, I should have never kissed you in the first place."

"What's done is done."

Jess closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose against hers, savoring the last few moments of their stolen time together. "Now is probably not the time to say this, or ever, for that matter but…" Jess couldn't stop himself from feathering one last kiss on her lips. "I love you, you know?"

Rory closed her eyes and nodded. "I know." She also knew with the wisdom beyond her years that he didn't mean that he loved her romantically. He loved her deeply as a friend. It probably wasn't the love of siblings, Rory knew their relationship never felt like that, but she knew exactly what he meant when he said the words. "Me too."

Jess sighed deeply and untangled their arms and legs, getting up to stretch his muscles. He tugged on his shoes and glanced over his shoulder at Rory who was sitting up on the bed, smoothing out the tangles in her hair. He tried to offer her a smile. "Will I see you at the diner?"

She nodded. "Of course."

She did show up at Luke's that morning and he served her in silence. But it wasn't uncomfortable. Oddly enough, they weren't awkward with one another. Rory didn't avoid his gaze or blush when he caught her staring. Jess didn't go out of his way to keep busy with orders nor did he shelve unnecessary inventory. But there were no smiles exchanged between them. When she left to go to school, he just nodded at her, silently saying goodbye.

* * *

Their relationship changed. It was something they were both prepared for. Rory no longer appeared at his window in the middle of the night, and Jess certainly didn't seek her out. But he saw she was sleeping again, her eyes looked less red and the dark circles under her eyes were less vivid now. He could only see them when he got close to her, noticing the thin layer of makeup that did a fair job of concealing.

They also didn't do movie dates anymore. They avoided all contact between them that didn't have other people around. But she did show up every day for coffee and sometimes after school for an early dinner. Jess's schedule changed when the new semester started and they saw even less of each other as his shifts at the diner changed as well. He saw her two or three times a week at the most, but the contact was friendly. Their easy banter returned and he joked and teased her into blushes. Rory still borrowed his books and asked for his help on homework when he had the time to spare.

Ironically, they touched easily. Nothing that echoed a hint of what happened that night, but Jess didn't avoid tapping her arm to get her attention and he didn't hesitate he hug her with one arm around her shoulders in greeting. As the divorce papers were signed and settled, it was Jess who held her tight when Rory found out at Luke's. It was by accident that she read the notation in her mother's blackberry, but Jess absorbed her tears and held her close.

But things changed for them individually as well. Jess stopped seeing Caroline and for the first time since he started dating, he went for weeks at a time without a new girl. He concentrated on school and thought seriously about applying for a transfer. The money he saved up working for Luke was a sizable amount now and his parents had saved up for him as well. Rory started to see Dean more regularly and it was almost a given that he was her boyfriend, although they didn't label it as such. She accepted her parents' divorce without any more tears and opened up to her mom about her feelings.

* * *

Jess watched Rory listen to Dean's animated gestures and words. She nodded at the right times and injected a question here and there but Jess noted with a hint of sarcasm that she was faking it, and doing a poor job at that. She was bored and he knew it.

He had watched her relationship with Dean develop over the last few months without jealousy. It was for the best that Rory found a boy her own age to hang out with. But Jess also worried about her. She wasn't smiling with that same twinkle anymore. She was becoming overshadowed by Dean and Jess saw right through it. But he didn't say anything because it wasn't his place and since Rory didn't go to him seeking advice, Jess didn't feel like he should give it. But he watched out for her, waiting and hoping to never see a sign that she was in trouble.

"Jess?" Her soft voice questioned from behind.

He straightened up and left the rag on the table. "Hey you." His voice deepened.

She smiled easily and he briefly saw a glimpse of the lighthearted Rory that was missing for all this time. "I know it's probably silly to ask, but do you have plans for tomorrow?"

The edges of Jess's lips curled into a half smile. "Not that I'm aware of."

"How can that be? It's your twenty-first birthday."

Jess chuckled. "I'm a loner." Which they both knew was true. Jess made acquaintances easily enough, he was charming and knew how to use it to his advantage, but he didn't make friends quite as easily. He had trouble letting people in.

"Well you have plans now. I'm taking you out to dinner." She considered the idea briefly. "Though it's probably not going to be that exciting seeing as how I'm not old enough to drink."

Jess knew she was trying to make a joke about it but in that moment he didn't feel like making light of the topic. "I would love to have dinner with you, Rory. Thank you."

She blushed a little bit and nodded. "Okay then. I'll meet you here at six."

Jess bent down briefly and tucked a lock of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear. He smiled. "Sounds good." Jess returned to cleaning the table in front of him and felt the weight of Dean's stare on his back.

* * *

Rory threw her arms around him like a precocious child and he laughed as he hugged her back. "Happy birthday." She kissed him lightly on the cheek and flushed a deep red when she pulled back quickly.

"Thanks." He didn't specify whether he was thanking her for the sentiment or the kiss.

"Ready to go?" Rory watched him shrug on his leather jacket.

"Yeah." He turned off the lights to the diner and ushered her out with a hand at the small of her back. "We taking my car?"

"Please. The heat's not working in the Jeep."

The walked the short distance to where his car was parked and he unlocked both their doors with a push of a button. "Want me to look at it?"

"No, don't worry. I don't want to bother you with it."

He slipped in behind the wheel. "It's no bother. No reason for you to pay to have it done if I can do it for free."

"Okay. Thanks." Rory settled in and breathed in the smell of Jess's car. It was clean, devoid of clutter and the dashboard lit up as he threw the car into gear. She once teased Jess for his white Volvo but he said that the Marianos had a thing about the safety of their cars. Jess had later confided in her that his grandmother had died in a car accident.

"So, where are you taking me?" Jess asked with a grin.

"Prospect Café." Rory admitted shyly.

Jess's brows lifted. The restaurant had been around for a while and catered to both an after work bar setting and a cozy, romantic one as well. Though Jess knew that the prices varied and was reasonably affordable, he hadn't expected Rory to take him to such a nice place. He had expected a night of pizza or hamburgers where they refilled their own soda. But now as he took in the sight of Rory's attire he noticed that while he couldn't see what she wore beneath her coat, her legs were bare below her knees and she wore delicate heels that probably brought her eye level to him.

Still, even as he was flattered and surprised, he didn't want Rory to be spending that kind of money on just his birthday. Jess started to suggest that they go elsewhere but realized that it would sound ungrateful. So Jess just drove and they listened to his CD playing softly in the background.

Rory was nervous about her choice of restaurants. She had wanted to take Jess somewhere special but couldn't decide on what. But she knew that The Prospect Café was a likely choice for people going on a date and she hadn't wanted Jess to think that was what she was aiming for. She just wanted to show Jess how much he meant to her especially for taking care of during that turbulent time of her parent's divorce.

They were shown to a little table nestled in the corner and their knees brushed as they sat facing each other. Jess was polite and refused the offer of alcohol, not wanting to make Rory feel out of place. They ended up sharing a slice of cake for dessert in celebration of his birthday and Rory was smart enough not to ask the waiters to sing to Jess.

Jess smiled across the table. "Thank you, Rory. Really." He reached for her hands and held them briefly. "I know…" He paused and toyed with her fingers. "I know why you did this. And thanks."

She almost started to cry. "I should be thanking you."

Jess wanted to deny that statement, but left it at that. They both knew that he had helped her through a rough patch but that they also made their own mistakes along the way.

* * *

The radio was turned off during the trip home and they rolled down the windows, letting the breeze flow through. The night was enjoyable but Jess noticed that Rory wasn't very talkative. He shifted gears smoothly and snuck a glance at her. "You okay, Ror?"

She gifted him an easy smile and returned her gaze out the window. "Yeah, why?"

"You just don't seem as chatty as normal."

"I'm fine."

He paused, nodding and humming under his breath. "Okay. You wanna try that again this time telling me the truth?" He smirked.

Rory hesitated. "Dean has asked me to be his girlfriend. Officially."

"And it's too soon for you?"

"No. Yes." She sighed. "I don't know. Maybe."

Quietly, Jess responded. "Then maybe you're not ready for it yet." When Rory didn't speak up, he glanced over at her and saw that her face was turned away from him. "Rory," Jess started gently, "is Dean pressuring you to have sex?" They arrived in front of her house and he parked across the street by the curb. He knew how ridiculous it sounded for him to ask her that question after what had happened between them a while ago, but he still wanted to know if Rory was being treated poorly. Jess turned off the ignition and shifted in his seat. "Rory?"

She finally turned with her eyes lowered. "Not in so many words. I mean, he doesn't say, 'Rory have sex with me.' But when we kiss…I guess, yeah."

Jess leaned back on the headrest. "Rory, you know you don't have to do anything you don't want to, right?" Jess shook his head at the irony of his words. It was months ago that he himself had been in her bedroom, coaxing her body into a shuddering climax. Her first, obviously.

"I know." She knew that. Of course she did. And she also knew that she wasn't going to let Dean pressure her into anything. "Jess, if I were older would things have been different for us?"

Jess was blindsided by her question and he stayed quiet for several minutes. "I don't know. Maybe. But we wouldn't have been friends like we are now if you were older." He paused as the full implication of what she was saying sunk in. "Rory, is that why…"

"No," she assured him in a quiet but steadfast voice. "Well, not really." At least she was being honest, Rory thought. Yes, Jess did factor a bit into her decision but she couldn't pin it all on him. Mostly, it was because she wasn't ready.

"I don't know what to say."

"I'm not…blaming you or anything."

"I know."

She watched his eyes dance around the car and then finally settle on hers. "I just wonder sometimes. How different it would be."

He noticed almost absentmindedly that the stars were bright tonight. He knew it was impossible to forget or push aside what had occurred between them, but he also knew that he would never _want_ to forget that night. Yes, it had been wrong but it had also been amazing and beautiful in its own way.

"But I think you're right. We wouldn't have been friends like we are if I were older. Things would have started differently and we probably wouldn't be as good of friends." Rory was aware that Jess had fallen silent. "Do you ever think about that night, Jess? I do." She watched as his gaze swung into hers. "Sometimes it feels like it just happened yesterday. I still remember everything so…vividly."

Jess rubbed at the weariness at his temple. He didn't want to sound arrogant at his assumption that he factored into her decision, but he was honest enough to realize that she probably did weigh him in. "Rory, I don't want you...waiting for me or anything like that. But I'm not saying that you should rush into it either. Sex is…a big deal. More so for girls. And you really shouldn't be with anyone you don't truly love."

"Yes, I know." Rory answered quietly.

Jess's throat closed up around the lump that had formed. "I think about it too. I don't want you to think that I just forgot about it. And it was a big deal for me too, you know? Not because it was," Jess paused, "wrong but because it was…special for me as well." It was hard to convey exactly what he felt into words. He knew that it wasn't the right thing to do, but he didn't want Rory to think that the only emotion he felt was regret over the incident. It had been, and still was, more memorable than most of the sex he'd had, even though they never took off any clothing.

"I understand."

There was plenty more to be said but they had spoken enough for one night. He glanced at the digital clock on his dash. "It's getting late, Ror."

"Would it…be okay if I asked to give you a birthday kiss?"

He considered it and smiled slowly. Jess didn't reply but leaned across the center console, gently cupping her cheek in his palm, his fingers tracing the swell. Their lips touched for a few moments but when he pulled back, he lingered and felt her fingers dig into his upper arms, holding him still. Jess connected them once more, fitting his lips over the bottom, the one that was slightly fuller than its mate. Both kisses were sweet, only lips, and brief. "Want me to walk you to the door?"

Rory smiled but shook her head. "I'm fine."

When she opened her door, he got out as well, waiting for her to step off the curve and around to his side of the car. Jess opened his arms and she stepped into them for a full contact hug. He laid his cheek against her and kissed the crown of her head. Jess retreated slightly and whispered very softly, almost silently, into her ear. "I love you, sweetheart."

She nodded but there was no point in echoing them back to him. They both knew it was true but saying it wasn't going to change things. Jess waited until she was safely in the house before he got back into his car.

* * *

When he got home that night, his parents had left on the kitchen light with a note attached to a large envelope. In his mother's cheery handwriting, she had circled the sender on the envelope and drew several big question marks along with a few exclamation points next to a happy face. Jess tore open the packet and smiled broadly at the letter of acceptance.

_ Jess Mariano,_

_ We're pleased to offer you a place in the fall program at New York University…_

He left the letter on the table for his parents to see in the morning and went to bed with a smile.

* * *

He had to wait a few days before he got to chance to speak to Rory privately. She smiled when he asked her to take a walk with him. He led her to the park and sat down beneath her favorite weeping willow. "Rory, I've been accepted into NYU."

For a few seconds, she was dumbfounded. "You, what?"

He sat down and leaned against the bark. "NYU. I applied a while back and they've accepted me as a transfer student. I start in the fall."

She sat facing him but stared at a point on the tree trunk a few inches away from his eyes. "Oh."

Her eyes remained glazed over and he took her hands into his and played with her fingers tenderly. "Rory?"

"That's…great. Congratulations."

Jess smiled. "Thank you, but you don't have to pretend like you're excited."

She deflated at him voicing the truth. "I am excited. For you. I'm just…being selfish I guess."

He let go of her hands but shook his head. "No, it's not selfish. I understand. I'm not exactly itching to leave home, but it's really a good thing for me."

"I know." She nodded. "I know that and I am proud of you."

Jess grew serious, wanting her to really realize the truth. "Rory, look at me." He waited. "I'm not going because I want to leave you or anything. I'm doing this for me, and for me alone. I'm going because it's a good opportunity for my future, not because it's an easy way for me to escape. You understand that, don't you?"

Rory didn't respond right away, ashamed that he had so easily read right through her. "Yes." She considered the full impact of what he was telling her. "We won't…see each other anymore."

"Rory," he pulled her into his embrace and even though they were in public, he let her lean against his bent legs and he cradled her loosely with his arms. "Don't think about it like that. It's a drivable distance for me and it's just a bus ride away for you if you want to visit. I'll be down for holidays. It's really not that bad."

She conceded to his statement, realizing that it was true. "So, this fall huh?"

"Yeah." He tightened his arms around her for a moment. "We'll still have this summer to spend time together."

"Are you excited?"

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

**AN: **There's a post in the forum where I discuss briefly about my feelings on this chapter. Questions/comments posted by readers will be answered in depth.

**Read? Please review.**


	5. Occasional Visits

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 5: Occasional Visits

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **I'm spoiling you all, I really am. An update per day. It's like setting a bad precedence. :)

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

Rory helped him box up the last of his things and sat down at the counter at Luke's to take a break. For once, he sat beside her, eating with her instead of watching her eat. "You all set?"

He swallowed his bite of hamburger and nodded while taking a sip of Coke. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Their time together ended in a blur. First the rest of the semester went by in a flurry of tests and briefly seeing Jess at the diner while he worked. When the summer approached she avoided talking about his impending departure. He seemed to understand her need to just concentrate on the moment and he made an effort to spend more time with her. Jess took her to summer fair in Hartford and they spent the day laughing on the roller coasters, playing I-Spy on the Ferris wheel, and he even won a stuffed otter for her by knocking down milk bottles with a softball. Howard, the otter, 'floated' on his back clutching a starfish. But the summer was almost over now and it passed by too fast for her.

"You leaving in the morning?"

He stopped eating to look at her. "Yes." Jess knew it wouldn't be easy on them and he understood why she had been so quiet today. He also noticed that she was wearing a t-shirt that she had gotten the time they took a day trip into Hartford. They had gone into vintage and second hand stores and while he found an old fashioned typewriter for a steal, she found a shirt that was screen-printed with a picture of the planets and inscribed with, '_You're outta this world_.'

Rory finished her burger, feeling like the meat just dried into dust and settled into her stomach. "I'm gonna go home and lay down. I'm not feeling too good."

Jess watched her get up in concern. "You want me to walk you home?"

"No, no. You have errands to run still. I'll call you later."

Even though he said, "all right," he still watched her warily, wondering just how hard she was taking his departure.

* * *

Rory had dinner that night with his family but left soon after. She knew that she would regret not spending more time with him but she could barely keep from crying when gave her a box of his books to keep. He grinned and told her to keep them safe but she couldn't respond. So she left his home with a muttered goodbye.

It was near midnight and she tossed and turned on her bed. Realizing that she shouldn't, she got up and dressed before she changed her mind. With Howard tucked under her arm she quickly crossed the distance between her house and his. She knocked on his window and saw him unlatch the window. "I know that I shouldn't but—"

He cut her off by helping her climb through. In all honesty, he had been expecting her to show up. She was obviously more upset than she let on and Jess had waited for her to appear, knowing that she wouldn't be able to resist. And that neither would he. "It's okay. Come in."

Jess stretched out on his bed and just held his arms open. She didn't hesitate to climb into his embrace. They lay side by side, their hands resting lightly on each other. Jess smiled and petted Howard, earning a giggle from Rory. "Is there anything you want to take?" He gestured around the room with a lift of his chin.

"Your black hoodie?"

He had a feeling she would want clothes. "Sure."

She snuggled in and closed her eyes when he wrapped his arms around her. Breathing in deeply, she tried to memorize what Jess smelled like, the different elements that made it uniquely him. He tucked her in until they touched down the lengths of their bodies. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and listened to her breathing until their breaths matched and evened out into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Their goodbyes weren't as painful as predicted. They said them early in his room, right after they woke up knowing that delaying them until he actually drove away was probably not the best. It was silently agreed upon that she wouldn't be there with his parents to say goodbye. Though both of their parents knew they were close friends, it would have raised some eyebrows if they hugged too long or if Rory started to cry too much.

So he held her for a minute or so, standing in his almost bare room, and they didn't say much. She didn't have to ask him to call, she just hoped and assumed he would. He didn't have to tell her that it would be all right because Jess knew it wouldn't make her feel any better. Despite their age gap, or because of it, she was the best friend he'd ever had and vice versa. Jess had a hard time making friends because of the walls he had around him, and Rory had a hard time relating to girls, but she was also at that point in life where friendships with boys were not so simply innocent anymore.

Rory didn't cry and was grateful for it. She knew that it would only make things harder for Jess and besides, she was all cried out. Jess held on to her, but didn't kiss her. When he watched her climb through his window it was with a half smile on his face. He knew that the transition would be tough on her. Jess felt that perhaps their friendship had grown too close over the years. Rory relied a lot on Jess and he allowed it. He could only hope that Rory learned to deal with things by herself, or at least at the courage to seek out her mother so that someone could help.

But if Jess were being honest, he also liked having Rory rely on him. He liked knowing that if Rory had a problem, she didn't hesitate in telling him or running to him. He enjoyed their connection and he didn't make excuses for it either. Their friendship, especially in the last year or so, always seemed to boarder on something else. But it never went over to that unknown side. It wasn't something romantic, not fully. It was just something…else. It was a bit too close for friendship between two people, but not so close as to be fully inappropriate.

He watched her disappear off his front lawn in the early morning light.

* * *

They each adapted well. Jess slid into the city like he was born right into it and he thoroughly enjoyed living on his own. His roommate, Paul, who was a computer science major kept out of his way and was a clean guy. But what Jess loved the most about his new life was the anonymity of it all. He loved having people not know his name and he liked knowing that he didn't have to answer to people. No one stopped him on his way home asking how his parents were or how his day was going. He was really on his own.

Rory hung out with her girlfriends more often. One especially, Lane, enjoyed the same music as Rory and she didn't pry much into what Rory was uncomfortable in sharing. Lane had a hard time getting out of the house sometimes because of her strict mother, it was the perfect situation for Rory. Some of the other girls constantly called Rory to go to the mall or to see a movie and it felt stifling. Rory wasn't used to being around friends all the time and even at the height of her relationship with Jess, they never spent two or three full days in a row together. While they might have seen each other briefly every day, it was only for an hour or so. The fact that Lane wasn't available to hang out everyday was something that suited Rory and because of it, she liked being around Lane more. It was Rory who called her now, asking if she wanted to have lunch or just hang out and read the latest magazine.

Jess called about once a week. It was never a set schedule but he knew her well enough to figure out the best time to call. Their phone calls were mostly updates for each other. He talked about his classes and what he just explored in the city while Rory talked about Lane and the latest happenings with the town. Their conversations were friendly and touched only on surface items. She said, 'miss you' in a voice of nonchalance and Jess could tell that while it was definitely true, it wasn't as bad as they had feared it would be.

* * *

Jess waited on the bench that was, incidentally, the same one that began his relationship with Rory. He checked his watch and made his way to the school, figuring that he had five minutes until the last bell rung. Leaning against the tree near the entrance, he had a good chance of catching her come out as long as she didn't slip through another exit. He watched the crowd of high school students spill out from inside and he searched for the one he was looking for.

"Jess!" She barely gave him enough time to look before she jumped up into his arms for a hug. "What are you doing here?"

He caught her with an 'umph' and a smile, holding her tight before setting her on the ground. "Did you forget that it's Thanksgiving?"

"But you didn't say you were coming home." She smiled broadly.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you." Without giving it much thought, he reached for her backpack and swung it over his shoulder. "Come on, burger at Luke's on me."

"Great." She started walking off with him but paused abruptly. "Oh, wait. Hold on a second."

He watched her retreat back to the steps of the school building and for the first time he noticed that Dean had been waiting and probably watching their interaction. Jess grew curious at the sight of Dean continually glancing over at him. Jess had naturally assumed that soon after the night they celebrated his twenty-first, Rory had agreed to be Dean's official girlfriend. She never told him as much but he had noticed that Dean had stopped glaring at him when they came into Luke's. It didn't seem like Rory was unhappy so Jess never mentioned anything. Jess noticed that their phone calls never included Dean so he didn't ask about him either, figuring that if there was something wrong, Rory would bring it up herself.

"Okay, all set."

"Rory, if you have plans, it's okay. I'm here all week." He gestured his chin in Dean's direction.

"No, no." She shook her head and didn't look back. "Tell me all about New York!"

The rest of the week was pleasant. They each ate Thanksgiving dinner with their own families but they also had leftovers at Luke's together. They chatted and enjoyed their time together. He even brought back a NYU t-shirt for her. By the end of the week, it almost felt like he'd never left. They easily slipped back into a routine with them meeting at Luke's in the morning for coffee, parting afterwards to do whatever was on their own personal agenda, then meeting back in the afternoon for a late lunch. They took a few walks around the town, stopping by her favorite tree or by the bridge he had always favored. But Jess never ran into Dean. Jess figured that Rory must have been using some of her time in the mornings to spend them with Dean while he worked on class papers and caught up with his parents.

When it was time for him to leave, goodbyes were said briefly. He told her that he would come back for Christmas and promised to call. Rory smiled and hugged him wearing the purple t-shirt he had given her.

* * *

"Jess?"

"Hey Rory." His voice was tired but he registered the fact that this was the first time she had called him instead of the other way around.

"I'm," her breathing hitched. "I'm so sorry."

He closed his eyes and leaned back in bed. "Me too." Jess reached out for the lump on the floor by his nightstand. It was Tuxedo. He had been surprised and amused when he first unpacked at school and found that Rory had slipped in her stuffed penguin. Jess thought about returning it to her but realized that it was her own little way of giving him something to keep that reminded him of her, much like he did for her in giving her some of his books and his sweatshirt.

"You're coming home this weekend, right?"

He rested one arm on Tuxedo's lopsided rounded belly. "Yeah, I'll be there. I'm only staying for the ceremony and then I have to leave."

"Okay." Rory paused. "Are you…all right?"

Jess lay in bed, hearing the phone call he received early this morning replay in his head. Snippets ran through his mind. _Jess, it's Dad…grandpa…heart attack…sorry, son, he didn't make it…funeral this Saturday…_

"Jess?"

"Yeah, I'm here." Jess breathed out.

Rory hesitated. "Do you…wanna talk?"

"No." Jess closed his eyes and rolled over to his side, Tuxedo pressing into his chest. "Just…stay on the phone with me."

* * *

Rory was surprised to see Jess accompanied by a pretty redhead. He walked up to Rory and briefly hugged her, lingering for just a second beyond necessary.

"Rory, this is Maggie, my girlfriend. Maggie, Rory."

Rory shook the offered hand and gave them a smile. She also didn't miss the fact that Jess had said the word, 'girlfriend.' "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

"Same here. Jess has told me about you."

Rory smiled but it died quickly when she saw Maggie glance at Jess from the corner of her eye. Jess missed it and left the two of them to be alone when he went over to his parents who engulfed him in a hug. "You go to school with Jess?" Rory asked.

"Yeah, we met in one of our classes."

Rory bobbed her head and the conversation wilted. She was never one for small talk. "So, you live in New York?" Rory mentally kicked herself. "I mean, you're a native New Yorker?"

"Born and bred." Maggie smiled and reached out to snake an arm around Jess's waist when he returned to them.

They stood together throughout the ceremony with Jess sandwiched between them. His hands were in his pockets, balled up and he fought tears from behind his black sunglasses. He had been close with his grandfather, especially when he was younger. His grandpa had taught him how to fish and took him camping when Jess was in elementary school. Though they drifted apart, his grandpa was still a constant in his life. And now he was gone.

When the lowered the casket into the ground, it was Rory's hand that he reached out to take. Jess stared at the proceedings with unseeing eyes and laced his fingers firmly together with Rory's. His thumb rubbed over the ridge of her knuckles without him knowing it and he gripped her tightly when the casket was out of sight. Rory never looked to Jess but glanced down and saw that his other hand was still in his pocket. When the crowd began to disperse, they began to walk aimlessly around the cemetery but Jess didn't let go of her hand. He didn't notice, but Rory did. And so did Maggie.

* * *

"Happy birthday." He made the trip down solely to surprise her. It was right in the middle of the week and he would have to drive back up tonight to make it in time for his early morning class tomorrow, but it was worth seeing her face light up.

"Jess!" Rory almost fell off of her stool, so surprised at hearing Jess's voice whisper in her ear.

He hugged her tightly, breathing her in. "Happy?"

"Of course!" She sat back down and patted the stool next to her. "Wow, I can't believe you drove all the way down here."

"Wouldn't miss it." He tugged out a box from out of his jacket pocket and slid it near her hand. "It's your eighteenth, after all."

"Yeah, well," Rory fingered the smashed bow on top absentmindedly and tugged out the card.

Jess watched her open the card and read the few scribbled sentences. The words he had written were brief and concise, wishing her a happy birthday.

Rory opened the box in her usual way. She was careful not to rip the paper anymore than necessary and folded it back up before she even looked at her present. "Thank you." Placing the watch on her wrist, she admired it. It was a pretty little leather thing, feminine but still edgy enough to have a tomboy quality to it.

Jess watched her fasten the strap and mentally congratulated himself on picking a winner. At first he didn't have a clue what he should get her. A book seemed too commonplace for them but everything else he thought of was either unfitting or too casual to give to her. When he saw the watch he thought it might do the trick. It was personal enough for her to wear it if she liked it, but still a gift a friend would give one another.

"Thank you," she replied again.

"Welcome."

Rory really had been genuinely surprised at Jess's appearance. He hadn't mention her birthday in their last phone call and while she expected him to send a card or a gift, she didn't go as far as thinking he would show up. She had been looking forward to her birthday, perhaps childishly and a bit selfishly, in knowing that she was legally an adult now. Jess and her never discussed things like that. They rarely spoke about boyfriends and girlfriends though Rory did tell Jess about Dean taking her to prom and Jess didn't hide the fact that soon after his grandfather's funeral, he split up from Maggie.

But they never touched on the topic of _them_. It wasn't assumed that anything would happen but since they never brought it up, Rory never had the chance to hear a response from Jess. It seemed like they just grew to accept their relationship for what it was: a friendship that sometimes bordered too close to be platonic. But over the recent years they hadn't touched anymore than the occasional hug. Perhaps it was the emotional bond that seemed to be pushing the boundaries.

However, Rory was introspective enough to recognize the reason why she was so looking forward to turning eighteen. It meant something new in their relationship, even if nothing was going to change. And she didn't harbor any real expectations that things would change. Jess never indicated anything of the sort and she knew it was the right thing to do. When he had first mentioned about her not waiting the time they were in his car after his twenty-first, Rory knew what he meant. Not only did he mean that she shouldn't hope for anything in terms of changing their relationship, but that Jess also meant that they weren't making promises. They were not waiting for her to be older or for more time to pass.

"So, what are your plans?" Jess asked.

Rory fiddled with her watch, setting the time and date correctly. "Dean's taking me to dinner." She looked up. "Are you staying? 'Cause maybe we can—"

Jess waved her off. "No, don't cancel on him. I have to go back in a few hours anyways." He smirked. "Besides, I don't think he'll be too happy if his girlfriend bailed out on her own birthday dinner."

Rory rolled her eyes. "He knows you're important to me. Besides, if it's my birthday dinner, I should have a say in whether or not I'm bailing." She finger quoted the last word and imitated Jess's deeper voice.

"Okay, okay." He threw his hands up in surrender and chuckled. "Wanna take a walk with me?"

"Sure."

Jess lingered around, waiting for her to pay for her burger and opened the door for her. They walked pass to the gazebo and made their way to the park, automatically stopping under the weeping willow. Jess had thought about this conversation on his way down to Stars Hollow. He didn't think they needed to address anything but feared misunderstanding on her part. He didn't want there to be any expectations. "Rory," he began and sat down on the ground next to her. Jess didn't quite know how to continue. "You happy?"

"Of course." She smiled brightly and misunderstood.

Jess couldn't help but return her expression with a half smile of his own. "Rory, that's not what I meant."

At the drop of his voice, Rory looked up, scrunching her brow. "Well, what did you mean?"

Jess sighed and ran his hand through his hair, making it messier than usual. There was no other way to approach things but dive headfirst. "Rory, are you…expecting something? Something to happen?"

Rory looked down at her hands, studying the freckle pattern. "Honestly?" She didn't have to pretend to not understand what he was asking now. She knew.

"Please."

She watched some kids chasing each other in a game of tag not too far away. "No, I guess not."

Jess examined her closely, looking for signs in her facial or body language that would signify a lie. "Are you telling me the truth?"

Her gaze veered back to his but not in anger at his doubtful question and she said the first thing that came to mind, "Yes." It was true, partially so, but there was something else there. Not really a nagging voice that whispered, liar, but a tugging on her heart that felt that maybe, just _maybe_, she did wish for something more now that she was older.

"I know we don't," Jess paused to find the words, "talk about it." He twirled a blade of grass. "About us."

"No, we don't."

"And now that you're eighteen." Jess chuckled with the humor wasn't there. "I don't know what to say, not really." It was a new step for them, he knew it. When her birthday was approaching, Jess had found himself wondering if this would change things for them. While it didn't magically make him feel like she was suddenly fair game, it did make him wonder seriously for the first time. But he was hesitant in bringing it up. Her friendship meant much more than anything else.

She laid her hand warmly on his and squeezed his fingers before releasing him again. "You never led me on, if that's what you're worried about. You never made me think that something was going to happen."

Before he could stop himself, he asked the question that had been floating around in his mind. "You never wanted anything to happen?"

She breathed out a smile, the kind of smile that expressed disbelief mixed in with a bit of nostalgia. "Well, of course I've wanted something to happen. I'm only human, after all, and that kind of feeling isn't something that's so easily repressed when you're sixteen."

He chuckled. "Yeah, guess not."

Rory sobered and met his gaze directly. "Jess, you don't have to worry or feel guilty. It was…a long time ago." No doubt they didn't need to clarify what _it_ was. "And I never really expected anything to happen with us. Nothing beyond a passing stray thought. I think I've learned to accept it. Learned to accept us, for what we are."

"And what are we? What am I?" He needed to hear what she would say. There was something important in hearing from her lips, just to clarify it all.

Rory thought about it for a few minutes. Friends? It seemed too mundane to describe them. Too bland to describe _him_ and what he meant to her. "You're…Jess."

His lips twitched, thinking that there wasn't any other way to describe it. Jess tugged on her arm and pulled her between his legs, hugging her. "And you're Rory."

* * *

**AN: **Check out the notes I've posted for this chapter.

**Read? Please review.**


	6. Blindsided with Acceptance

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 6: Blindsided with Acceptance

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Times are a-changing. (heh, heh...)

Enjoy!

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

Her voice sounded weird and when he asked again, Jess heard her repressed sob. "Rory?" He gestured to his phone and covered the mouthpiece while whispering to Danielle, "I have to take this outside."

Danielle gave him an odd look but nodded as Jess made his way from behind the booth and out of the restaurant.

Once he was one the street, he turned up the volume on his cell, hoping to hear a response this time. "Rory?"

She just sniffled into his ear. "Yeah. I'm here."

"What's the matter?" He waited a few beats and still heard no reply. Jess knew they hadn't lost the connection though, he could hear a rustling of what was probably tissues and the unflattering noise of a nose being blown. "Rory, sweetheart, what is it?"

"It's Dean, he," she hiccuped, "we…broke up."

He ran his hand through his hair. "Jesus Christ." Jess sighed. "Did he hurt you, Rory?"

She didn't respond.

Jess's heart constricted. "Rory, answer me right now. Did he hurt you?"

His tone must have goaded her into language because she hurried to explain. "No, no, he didn't hurt me. Not like you're thinking."

"Well, what _am_ I thinking?" Jess's voice hardened.

"You're thinking that he," she waved a hand around even though Jess couldn't see it. "Well, it's not. It's _not_ like that. You know Dean's not that kind of guy. He would never physically hurt me."

Yes he knew, but there was a primal part of him that just reacted. The part that wanted to protect her, consequences be damned. He sighed, feeling a small weight lifting. "Rory, what happened?"

"We broke up."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Yes, I got that, but what exactly happened?"

She scrubbed her face with another Kleenex. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Rory," he admonished.

"No, I don't want to discuss it."

Jess dropped it, understanding the feeling of not wanting to talk but craving the comfort of knowing someone was there. "Okay. It's up to you."

Rory sighed, crawling under her covers and closing her eyes. "Sorry I called you. Were you on a date? It is Friday night after all."

"Don't give it another thought." He dismissed the statement quickly. "Are you at home?"

"Yes."

"Lorelai there?"

"No, she had to work late. She doesn't know yet."

He glanced down at his watch, seeing that it was only about seven o'clock. "Just…try to get some sleep, okay?"

"Yeah."

Jess returned to his date but left the restaurant alone five minutes later.

* * *

Jess wondered why he was driving all the way home when he could have easily just spoken to her on the phone. He had never done this before. Not even the time when her dad was supposed to show up to spend the weekend with her but cancelled at the last minute. Rory had been really upset but Jess comforted her over the phone and it seemed to be enough.

He parked his car across the street and went around to the side of the house. He knocked on the window and heard a dull thudding noise. "Rory? It's me."

The curtains parted and she looked surprised. "Jess? What the hell are you doing here?"

He smiled and climbed through. "Well, you sounded so sad."

"You came all this way?" Rory's face crumbled with a feeble smile and she stepped into his arms for a hug.

Jess sat down on the bed with her. "It's not that long of a drive." He brushed off the comment.

"You're such a liar." Rory chuckled.

"I couldn't just let you be alone, stewing and all that."

"I'm not alone," she pointed to the lump by the pillow. "I have Howard."

Jess sat with his back to the wall and rested her between his bent knees, laying her on his chest. "You want to talk about it now?"

"No." Her voice muffled into his shirt. "Wanna listen to my new CD?"

"Sure." He turned on the speakers by her bed and angry chick music filled the room. He laughed silently but didn't say a word as she just sighed and snuggled into his embrace.

"I miss this."

"This, being?"

She closed her eyes and rubbed her face into his shoulder. "Us. Do you ever miss it?"

Jess considered her question, realizing that she was probably emotionally exhausted from before. Rory normally wouldn't be asking such questions. "Yeah."

"Sometimes I wish," she started to drift off, "there was more."

Jess's eyebrows knit together at the possible implications of her words. He didn't reply since she had fallen asleep. He did, however, reach down to take her hand and lace their fingers together. Weird, he thought, as he examined the appearance of her lighter fingers twined with his darker complexion, how he didn't have a problem with crawling into bed with her, letting her sleep on his chest, but the idea of holding hands...

But it was late and he didn't want to examine why it felt so good to feel her fingers tight to his. Jess also didn't want to think about why his chest tightened when he heard Rory mumble that she wanted more. He turned off the light and held her close.

* * *

"Rory, what's this?" He held a sheet of paper in his hands.

She was busy digging around her piles of books by her bed to notice that Jess had been nosing around the paperwork on her desk. "What?" Jess had come home for the weekend, a break before he took his finals. She rooted around for the new book she wanted to show him.

"This." He held it up and waved it around. "This piece of paper that begins with 'Rory Gilmore, congratulations, you've been accepted into New York University.' " Jess's voice tightened. Though he had strongly suspected it, she never explicitly told him that she was applying to NYU. In fact, if he remembered correctly, she deliberately left out NYU when they were discussing her choices. Jess picked up the other acceptance letters that littered her desk. There were a few. Some that could be considered more prestigious than NYU, others that were fairly on par.

"Oh." Rory stood up but make an effort to move to the side of the room where he was standing. Having read it a week ago, she knew what that it said.

"Rory, what the hell is going on?" Jess's fists tightened into the paper, crinkling it.

She made a face. "Why are you yelling at me?"

He blinked a few times, unbelieving. "Why am I yelling at you?" He shook his head. "What the hell did you think would happen?"

Rory's mouth dropped open and she started to get angry. "I thought you would be happy!"

"Why the fuck would I be happy?"

Stalking over to his side of the room, she ripped the paper from his hands, smoothing out the wrinkles he made. "Don't swear at me."

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." Jess grabbed her elbow as she tried to walk past him. "We're not done yet. Tell me what this is."

Rory rolled her eyes and yanked away from his grasp. "Gee, Jess, I think you can read. What does it look like?"

"Don't fuck with me, Rory." His eyes dared her to admonish him again for cursing.

Rory ground her back teeth, her jaw locking in building frustration. "Why are we fighting about this?"

"You hid this from me. Months ago, when I helped you fill out your college applications, you didn't mention a word about applying to NYU." He pointed to the other letters. "You lied to me."

"I didn't lie," Rory mumbled. "I just didn't say anything."

"You're not skirting away on a technicality."

Rory whirled around and threw her hands up. "I still don't understand why you're _mad_ about it. So I didn't tell you, big deal. It's not like we tell each other everything."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Rory, you tell me what you eat for dinner and when you're planning on wearing your lucky t-shirt."

"So what?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were applying?"

"What difference does it make?" She yelled. "It doesn't mean anything. It's just an application."

"If that were true," he matched her tone of voice, "you would have told me. And it's not just an application. We both know that."

"You don't know anything."

"What kind of game are you playing here?"

"I'm not playing any game."

Jess shook his head. "What's going on, Rory?"

"I just thought it would make things easier!" She cried out.

"Make what easier?"

She walked quickly over to him and raised a fist, hitting him square in the chest. "Us, you big jerk! I thought it would make things easier on us. That maybe we could finally _be_ _together_!"

He held her upper arms, stilling her anger, but his voice wasn't calm. It was downright pissed off. "We can fucking well be together even if you went to another school!"

Rory's shocked gaze met his equally surprised one. They suddenly fell silent. For the first time, they spoke the words aloud. They never broached the subject of being together. They just didn't discuss it, not avoiding it but not totally considering it either. After the talk they had when she turned eighteen, they never touched the topic again. It was understood that Rory didn't expect anything and that Jess felt the same way. Or at least, that's what they thought happened.

While Jess did seem to call more frequently and was more affectionate towards her when he visited, he still never went beyond their usual hug. After Rory and Dean had broken up, Jess didn't mention any of his dates, but Rory had figured he was either just keeping his privacy or that he was going through a self-induced dry spell.

This was the first time either had voiced aloud the idea of being together and it was obvious that they had each been separately thinking of it.

"Jesus, Rory." Jess groaned and sunk down into her desk chair. "Let's just back up for a second, okay?"

She sat on her bed. "Okay." Rory fidgeted and picked at the lint off of Howard's soft brown fur. "Why are you upset? Because I didn't tell you? I didn't think it would be such a big deal. It wasn't like I knew I'd be accepted from the beginning. I didn't see the point in telling you if it wasn't a sure thing."

Jess rubbed his face and sighed. "Yes, I'm upset that you didn't tell me."

"Why?"

"Because, Rory," Jess met her eyes, "because you're clearly thinking and making plans for us without telling me."

"What's the point in bringing it up if there was a possibility of me not being accepted? I just…didn't want to get my hopes up."

"How could you make a decision like this without telling me? It's a big deal, even if you weren't accepted. Just the thought of you applying, what that implies…" He trailed off, letting her fill in the blanks.

"Because I didn't want to have this conversation with you if it wasn't going to be an option for us." Rory waved a hand, gesturing at the space between them. "We don't talk about this. Us. Not really. And it was clear that we didn't expect anything to happen with that conversation we had on my birthday."

"Rory, I'm not…" Jess looked away. "Rejecting you. You've blindsided me with all of this. First I find out that not only have you applied to NYU, but that you got in. And now you're saying that you did it in hopes that we would get together."

Rory remained quiet.

His voice calmed down significantly. "How long have you been thinking about it?"

"Since I was picking schools to apply to."

"And why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

Rory sighed. "I didn't want to hear you say no."

"And you were so sure I would?"

Rory rolled her eyes and replied sarcastically, "I know you Jess. You would have said no. Don't deny it."

He relented, knowing it was probably true. "I want you to forget about NYU. Don't even consider it as an option."

Rory's head whipped up quickly. "What?"

Jess kept an even tone. "You heard me."

"Why would you ask that of me? _How_ could you ask that of me?" Rory got angry again. "Who do you think you are to make these decisions for me? For us?"

"That's just what it is Rory! A decision for _you_. Not for _us_. Don't you understand? I don't want you to make such a big choice in your life based on me and whatever you might feel."

" '_Whatever you might feel?_' " His casual dismissal of her feelings hurt more than anything else.

"I didn't mean it like that, Rory. You know I don't."

"No, I don't know. I don't know anymore!"

Jess stood up, getting in her way. "Rory, this has nothing to do about what we feel for each other. Listen to me!" He cupped her chin and brought her face up, tilting her so that they met eye to eye. "It has _nothing_ to do with it."

"Then why are you making it all about that? You make it sound like I'm choosing a college based solely because I have some sort of silly crush!"

"I'm not demeaning your feelings. Same as I'm not denying what I feel for you. There's no point in running away from these feelings anymore. It's obvious we're thinking about it. I know it's no longer a matter of age. You're old enough to make your own decisions. And I'm damn well going into it this time with my eyes open and my hormones in check."

"Then why wouldn't you want me to go?"

"This has to be about what's best for you! You! Not me, not us, just _you_! I don't want you to choose NYU and if something happens down the road…" He released her chin but pulled her body in close, keeping an arm banded around her back. "I don't want you to regret anything. I don't want you to end up resenting your choice because you sacrificed something that might have been better for you. If something else is more suited for you, then we can…work around it if that's what we both want."

She closed her eyes and finally got what he was trying to say, why he was so upset.

"Do you understand now?" His voice softened.

"Yes." She buried her nose into his sternum, breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent. "But I'm not going to scratch NYU off the list just because you told me to."

He wanted to argue, but he saw the logic of her decision. "As long as NYU is the best choice for your education, then okay, consider it among your choices. But only because it's good for you."

"Deal."

* * *

She read the name on the buzzer and was about to push it when the door opened for someone else. Knowing that it would be a bigger surprise if she just showed up at this door with warning, she headed into the elevator and waited impatiently for it to get to his floor.

Jess had moved out of the dorms and into a two-bedroom apartment he shared with Paul the roommate a couple of months ago. From what he told Rory, she knew he was excited to really be on his own. She knocked twice, a sharp rapping of her knuckles.

The door opened with and Jess's face with quickly etched with worry. "Rory? What's happened? Are you okay?"

She broke out into a wide grin and jumped right into his arms. Rory shook the piece of paper in his face, too close for him to actually read the words. "A scholarship, Jess! Almost a full-ride!"

Jess stumbled and supported her weight by cupping her bottom. He moved them to the kitchen counter and sat her on top. "What are you talking about?"

"I just found out that NYU's giving me a scholarship!"

"That's great." He smiled.

"That does it, I'm going to NYU. Think of all the money I can save up for the future. It's the best choice all around."

"Are you absolutely sure? Positive?"

"Yes! I promise you I've thought about it. I've done my research. I've compared all of the school's writing programs. I've made my pros and cons lists but this clinches it. A scholarship!"

Jess's features split with a grin. "That's great, sweetheart." Impulsively leaning in, he kissed her. The counter brought her at eye level and he just framed her face with his larger hands and fitted his mouth over hers. It wasn't a kiss like the one they shared when he turned twenty-one. That time had been sweet and chaste. This was reminiscent of the kisses they shared that night in her bedroom when they were tangled up in limbs and struggling to find release.

His mouth opened up and when he nipped playfully at her bottom lip, she giggled. He too smiled into the kiss and he moved his hands down to her back, resting it on the curve on her spine. Jess bent her head back and he tasted her again. Rory's restless fingers sought purchase and grabbed onto his shoulders, kneading him like a cat. She opened up and tentatively touched her tongue to his, experimenting with shy licks.

Jess brought her closer still, moaning at the feel of her tongue sliding wetly along his. He sighed and pulled her to the edge of the counter, using his hands to wrap her legs around his waist. "Hold onto me," he managed to mumble before reconnecting their lips again.

Rory whimpered slightly when he kissed a hot path down the side of her jaw and to the sensitive skin behind her ear. "Jess?"

"Almost there." He kicked his bedroom door close and toppled along with her on the bed. Rory giggled and he smiled with her. "Is this okay?" He shifted his eyes to mean them lying on his bed.

Rory nodded and reached for Jess, pulling him down on top. His hands fitted along the sides of her ribcage, the pads of his thumbs in reach of her breasts. He pressed down, feeling her small nipple tighten in response. Lowering his head, he kissed her again. Softer this time; a slow worshipping of her lips, a mapping of the contours. Rory shifted her legs and bent at the knees so that Jess could fit his hips right into hers.

She sighed and absorbed the feeling of him. Where she was soft, he was hard. His stomach, chest, legs, and sex. His hips were lean and she could feel the tension that vibrated off of him, proof that he was holding back. Rory buried her hands into his hair, feeling the short strands under her fingertips. Jess pulled back from the kiss, lingering pleasantly, kissing her a couple more times. He rolled onto his side, pulling her into his chest.

Jess smiled and softly tucked her hair behind her ear, keeping them close enough to feel her breathing. "Let's slow down, okay?"

Rory nodded, grateful for the moment to breathe. "Okay."

He ran his hand up and down her side, dipping behind to her back, resting briefly on the small of her back, his fingers mischievously sneaking under the waistband of her jeans. "Did you take the bus here?"

Rory snuggled into his chest, tucking her face into his throat. "Yes."

"Your mom knows you're here?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Good." He nodded and brushed a dry kiss on her forehead. "Come on, let me take you out to dinner to celebrate." Jess got up and reached for a jacket.

He insisted on driving her home that night, citing that he didn't want her riding the bus so late by herself. Rory didn't argue and enjoyed the trip in silence. They only interrupted the comfortable tranquility with brief bubbles of conversation and the occasional moments when Jess reached out to take her hand over the gearshift.

Jess mostly concentrated on the road and they both soaked in the knowledge that they had irrevocably changed their relationship. And this time, it was decided and agreed upon with no regrets or hesitations.

* * *

**AN: **Want to read a few more tid-bits and behind the scenes stuff? Check out my (somewhat) extensive notes about this chapter in the forum.

**Please read and review: Taking the extra minute to show your appreciation makes it all worthwhile. **


	7. A New Relationship

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 7: A New Relationship

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Enjoy! (That is all I have to say...)

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

"Hey." Jess smirked down at her when she just rolled over and buried her head into her pillow.

"Go away."

Sitting down on the edge by her shoulders, he swung his legs onto the bed and sifted his fingers into her hair. "Come on, get up."

Rory batted his hand away, annoyed. "I mean it, go away."

Jess chuckled. "You're cute when you're irritated."

She rolled onto her back but inched the covers up around her shoulders. Rory was well aware that she wasn't wearing a bra under her tank top. "Why are you here?" She sat up but kept the sheet wrapped around her upper body.

He eyed her actions curiously and reached out to trial his fingers down her bare arm. "You afraid I'm gonna see something new?"

Rory bit her lip from laughing but gave Jess a glare nonetheless. "You haven't seen _me_."

"Hm," Jess bent down to kiss her lightly. "True." He kissed her jaw and palmed her shoulder, steadying her as she swayed when he sucked lightly on the skin on her neck. "You're all warm and sleepy. I like it."

Rory giggled and looked to her door. "Jess! Stop." She hissed under her breath. "My mom's probably just waking up. She could be right outside in the kitchen"

"You've told her about us."

"Yes, I told her, but she's still not going to appreciate you being in my room first thing in the morning." She pushed him away but he just grinned and kissed the other side of her neck, licking along her vein.

"Ah, I see." He smoothed her hair down. Jess chuckled at the sight of her bird's nest of hair. It really was a mess. "I have to drive up to the city today and take care of some lease agreements with Paul."

"Oh." She lay back down. "You leaving right now? It's like the crack of dawn."

"It's only eight o'clock."

"Tomayto, tomahto."

"The appointment's at one, so yeah, I'm leaving now. I also have some business to take care of at school. I need to meet with my advisor to make sure everything's in place for me to graduate in the spring."

Rory rubbed her eyes. "Can't I come with?"

He scooted down from his sitting position until he was on his side, his head propped up by his palm. "I would love for you to come but you promised your mom you would go shopping for dorm room stuff, remember?"

"Oh, right." Rory edged closer and rested an open hand over his steady heart. "You coming back tonight?"

"I'll try but I can't promise you anything."

She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the moment. After she visited him up in New York with the news that she had received a scholarship to the school, it was practically a done deal that they would be together. They agreed that they wouldn't flaunt anything around town and for all appearance's sake, their relationship remained unchanged. He visited a few times and they had lunch at the diner, nothing out of the ordinary save for a few heated glances exchanged between the two of them. No one in town noticed or said anything when their conversations would momentarily stop while they burst into random laughter.

But Jess insisted that she tell her mom and he told his parents as well. His dad just snickered and his mom hugged him with a knowing smile. Lorelai didn't take it as well but Rory smoothed things over. It helped that Jess wasn't able to spend too much time in Stars Hollow since finals had rolled around. Other than that one time where they rushed to get home because they lost track of the hour steaming up the windows in his car, Jess always had Rory at home in time for her curfew. Lorelai eventually came to accept that her daughter was old enough to make her own choices, especially since they were now preparing to move Rory into the dorms at the end of summer.

Given that they didn't have the opportunity to spend a lot of time together, coupled with the fact that they were mostly seen in public, their physical relationship didn't escalate much. They never went as far as getting to a bed and the most horizontal they got was on his family couch one rainy day watching a movie. They ended up just snuggled and he fell asleep with Rory's warm and comforting weight on top of him. Clothing also stayed on. He didn't push and seemed content with the kisses they shared. Rory was glad that Jess was purposely letting her set the rhythm of that aspect in their relationship.

Although they were certainly comfortable enough to finish each other's sentences, know when the other was in a bad mood, and what kinds of foods they liked and disliked, it was the touching and kissing that was brand new to them. Perhaps it was _because_ they knew each other like the backs of their hands that they took things so slow in developing the physical. They were content to be with each other watching a movie and they weren't nervous about not touching the entire time. It didn't bother either of them if they sat at Luke's through the lunch rush and only filled up half the time with conversation.

There was some times where things did get heated. Just last week he took her to eat in Hartford and the sight of her flimsy summer dress wound him up all throughout dinner. They held hands as they walked around and when he stopped the car in the typical Stars Hollow high school make out point, Rory had giggled but slid willingly into lap. The steering wheel behind her didn't allow for much movement even though the seat was pushed all the way back. But they didn't care. Their kisses weren't chaste, with their tongues sliding and hands roving. She pressed down into his erection and he felt her heat clearly even through his slacks. Jess had reclined the seat and his hot palms constantly lifted the hem of her dress, inching higher and higher as she held his face and kissed him.

Rory's hair had made a dark curtain around the two of them and they broke the kissing to concentrate on what was happening between their laps. His hands on her hips moved her back and forth, rubbing the seam of his crotch against her, simulating the act of sex. Rory had felt his harsh breathing against her cheek but focused all her energy on rubbing against him. She exploded with a whimper and a bite on his neck and Jess held onto her while she collapsed into his chest. He shook his head at the thought of them going at it in his car but was thankful that they didn't take it all the way. Jess remained hard and not fully satisfied but it was better than going home with a wet spot right on his pants. After all, he was staying at home for the summer. He had taken her home that night with a wide smile on their faces and when he saw her the next morning at Luke's, he was delighted to see her flush a deep pink.

"Do you _have_ to leave right now?" Rory shifted closer, positioning herself halfway on top of him.

Jess smirked. "Well, maybe I can spare a couple of minutes." Her blanket had fallen away with her movements and his sneaky fingers plucked at her tank top strap. It didn't escape him that she wasn't wearing a bra. They had left the window open and the morning chill hadn't died down yet.

Rory glanced down and saw what he was smirking at. "Pervert," she swatted him with a giggle.

"Hm, say that again," he pulled her higher on his chest. "I could learn to love it."

Rory heard the noise of the coffee spot sputtering and knew that her mom would be down soon for her morning cup. She gave him a quick peck, ignoring his protesting groan and rolled off the bed. "Get out of here. Shoo, my mom will be down soon."

Jess chuckled. "Since you asked so nicely." He threw a leg over her windowsill. "I'll call you later."

* * *

"Is this a good class to take?" She held up the college course book.

He peered down and squinted at the item she was pointing to with her highlighter. "I don't know; I haven't heard of it."

"Hm, they recommend it for freshmen in the English department." She chewed on the pen cap. "I'll put it on the 'maybe' list."

Jess toyed with the end of her ponytail, enjoying the shade that the tree provided and the warm weight of Rory's head in his lap. "Did your dad call?"

Rory's hands stilled but she didn't turn or make an effort to look at Jess. "Yeah."

"And?" He knew she was agitated and soothed her by rubbing the base of her skull.

"And nothing." She bent a page in the catalog to mark it. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"You never want to talk about your dad." He kept his voice even, knowing that they were wading into dangerous territory.

"Then you should know better to ask in the first place." Her tone was clipped.

"Rory," he chided her.

She rolled off her back and off his legs, sitting up Indian style. "Don't use that tone with me, Jess. I'm not a little kid you need to comfort. Not right now."

"Okay." He kept his posture relaxed against the tree, but he looked expectantly at her.

She buckled under the weight of his patient stare. "What do you want me to say? He missed my graduation. He only just called the other day. That's it."

"All right."

Rory wasn't placated by his easy acquiesce. "Why would you bring it up now?"

"Seemed a good a time as any."

She scowled. "It's never a good time."

Jess reached over and rubbed away the tension spot between her brows. "Maybe that's the problem."

Rory swatted away his hand, annoyed that he was being so calm and rational. "I'm going home." He got up to his feet but Rory cut him off. "_Alone_."

Jess stood and scrutinized her, recognizing her need for space. "Okay. I have things to do as well. Mom's been asking me to fix the sprinklers."

Further annoyed by his acceptance of her brush off, Rory left even though she knew she was unnecessarily taking out her anger at the situation with her dad on Jess. "Fine. See you later." When she saw that he wasn't going to try to give her a quick kiss or anything, it bugged her even more as she saw the understanding in his eyes. The smug bastard knew that she wanted him to kiss her, but that she was also too wound up in her own anger to admit it.

Jess watched the emotions play across her face, wondering if she knew she was so easily read. Probably not. "I'll see you tomorrow for coffee."

Rory stalked away, fuming at herself for being angry. She hadn't wanted to fight, damn it. Walking across the street from the park she almost ran into someone in front of Doosie's. "Hey, you okay?"

A pair of hands steadied her and she looked up to see Dean. "Oh, hi. Yeah, thanks."

Dean stared off into the distance and Rory turned to see that Jess was leaning against the side of the gazebo, a slight smirk on his face as if he didn't care that his girlfriend just literally ran into her ex-boyfriend. Already annoyed with herself and with Jess for bringing up a topic that he knew she didn't want to talk about, Rory was further goaded with seeing that semi-smile on Jess's face. While she knew that there was nothing going on between her and Dean anymore, she still stewed at the fact that Jess didn't look the tiniest bit threatened.

"I heard that you and Jess are together." Dean motioned to Jess across the street.

"You heard right." Rory's tone was just a shade into sarcasm. The town wasn't exactly buzzing with the news, but it wasn't a rare sight to see the two of them holding hands in Luke's diner or around the park.

"So that's the reason you broke up with me?" Dean's voice was too accusatory for Rory's tastes.

"No, it was because you gave me an ultimatum. And if I remember correctly, you were the one doing the dumping, not me."

"He's too old for you."

Rory scoffed, her mood already beyond testy. "Doesn't seem to be a problem when he's kissing me."

Dean's face was shocked. "Jesus, Rory."

Rory heard her words and blushed violently. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that to you." She started to walk away but turned back around. "But it's none of your business anyways. So I'm not that sorry. We've been broken up for a while, Dean. I wasn't going to pine away forever."

"No, you just jumped right into his arms."

"Listen you," she started to poke a finger at him, "Just because—"

An arm encircled her. "Come on, Ror. Let's go." Jess's voice was calmly whispered into her ear.

Rory didn't struggle as the weight of what just happened between her and Dean finally flooded her awareness. She started to shrug off Jess's arm but he already knew her well enough to take it away. "Oh god, I didn't just say that to him."

Jess chuckled. "I think you're going to have the town gossip mill running overtime with that little scene."

She whirled around, coming to a stop at the intersection. "You're not jealous at all, are you?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing." Jess smirked and tugged on her hand when the street was clear. "I don't have anything to be jealous of, right? Listen, Rory. You can have your own set of friends. In fact, I know you do and you can be friends with whomever you want. You don't have to spend every waking moment with me. I know we'd get tired of each other. We both need time alone and we know it. It's always been like that between us. Plus, I know I don't need to be jealous." He didn't drop his smirk. "You're not the cheating type. You'd be too nervous at being caught."

Rory punched his shoulder. Hard. "I can't believe you're making fun."

He rubbed his shoulder good-naturedly and shrugged. "It's true though. Just like how you know I wouldn't cheat on you. I'd break up with you first." He chuckled.

She finally saw a bit of the humor in his statements. And she saw the truth. "Gee, thanks."

Judging by the slight change in tone, he knew she was done being angry. "Come here." Jess slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a brief kiss. "You still wanna go home? Or do you want to watch me struggle with the sprinklers and look like I entered a wet t-shirt contest?" He wagged his eyebrows with a hint of a leer.

Rory smiled. He always did know how to coax a smile out of her. "Only if I get to be the one to hose you down first."

"I'd say you were just flirting with me." He laced their fingers together and changed their direction to his house. "Can I hose you down as well?"

"No, pervert."

"See, I told you I could learn to love that name." He laughed when he felt her nip his shoulder through the t-shirt.

* * *

Rory eyed her new roommate warily as she watched her set up a fake Zen garden by the nightstand. Rory whispered, "I'm kinda afraid to spend the night here by myself."

Jess looked up from where he was setting up her stereo and gave Rory an expression of concern. "You really?" He kept his voice low. "You can come stay with me if you want." Apparently his voice wasn't low enough because Rory's roommate turned around and gave them a curious look. Jess snickered.

Rory shook her head and set the time on her alarm clock. "No, I wasn't being totally serious. Besides, I have to get used to it. I can't hide out forever."

"You have everything you need here. Even Howard." Placing the otter in her lap, Jess patted her thigh and went out to get the last of her boxes.

"Your boyfriend?" The blonde girl spoke up from across the room.

Rory smiled softly. "Yeah."

"He's cute."

"I think so."

"If you ever need…you know, space," she gestured toward Rory's bed, "just let me know and I can sleep out on the couch."

Rory internally winced at the implied vulgarity of the statement. "Uh, thanks. Ditto, I guess."

* * *

"I'm nervous."

"You're going to be fine."

She sipped her coffee and let him lead her across the lawn with her hand tucked snugly in his. "What if I get lost?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "You studied the map of the campus like it had the meaning of life hidden in it. And you made me quiz you on it!" He smirked at her. "You'll be fine."

"Will I see you afterwards?"

He smiled at her nervousness and tugged her into the building. "Yes. I'll be waiting right outside, impatient to hear every last detail."

Rory snickered. "Now I know you're mocking me."

They stopped in front of a classroom and Jess leaned against the wall, bringing Rory to shuffle her feet between his. He kissed her lightly. "You okay?"

She looked down at her messenger bag. "Do I have everything? Paper, binder, pens, schedule, list of textbooks." Rory rifled through the front pocket. "Oh, I forgot gum. What if I have coffee breath?"

Jess chuckled. "Here." He slipped her a little tin of Altoids.

"You're the best." Rory fluttered her eyelashes with exaggerated gestures.

"That's what they all tell me."

She stepped away from his embrace. "I better get in there. I don't want to be stuck with a bad seat."

Jess let her ramble on. "I'll see you later."

* * *

"And how was your first day?"

"Good. Not as painful as I feared." Rory grabbed another slice and bit into it, savoring the gooey cheese. "You?"

Jess switched the radio station on his stereo by remote. "Fine. It's weird knowing that it's my last year."

"Excited?"

"I suppose."

Rory leaned into Jess's shoulder, her foot nudging his. "I like having dinner in bed."

Jess smiled and kissed her gently, chuckling when he tasted pizza on her lips. "Hm pepperoni…sexy."

She laughed. "I think I just heard Paul come home."

"Oh yeah?" Jess reached down to put the pizza box on the floor and rolled on top of Rory, pinning her in place. "Let him get his own girl." He nibbled at her lips. "You're mine."

Rory pushed up into his chest jokingly. "You don't own me."

His eyebrow lifted playfully. "Okay then, wanna own me?"

"Weirdo."

Jess laughed. "How 'bout you say that to my face?"

Rory framed his jaw with her hands and brought him down for a kiss.

* * *

**AN: **Writing notes posted on forum.

**Please read and review. Come on people, show your appreciation for an update a day :)**


	8. You and Me

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 8: You and Me

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **And since this is authored by, well…me, I'm sure this comes as no surprise…

Enjoy!

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

Rory let herself in with the key that Jess had given her a week earlier with Paul's approval. Rory liked Jess's quiet and quirky-humored roommate, and Paul was equally appreciative of Rory's presence since she often brought pizza or bagels with her.

"Jess?"

"In here."

Rory found Jess lying on the bed, his back supported against the headboard with a pillow. She lifted her messenger bag off her shoulder and dropped it on the floor by Jess's sneakers. Crawling into bed with him, she plopped down with a sigh.

"How's the roommate?" Jess rubbed her shoulder absently and scribbled in a yellow legal pad that was resting on his knees.

"Annoying." She wrinkled her brow. "She's still playing that supposedly subliminal relaxation CD when she goes to sleep. Puts her out like a light but I'm the one stuck with listening to some guy in a fake soothing voice telling me to breathe my troubles away."

Jess chuckled. "How did your test go?"

"Good, I guess. Can you believe that it's only the second month of school and already I have an exam?"

"Hm." Jess nodded but concentrated on his textbook.

Rory paused to stare at Jess. His brow was furrowed in concentration, a gel ink pen resting between this thumb and forefinger, and his glasses were a little smudged. She watched with a hidden smile as she took in the scene. Jess's hair was sleep messy and his t-shirt was wrinkled. In fact, she thought with a shake of her head, it was the same shirt he wore yesterday. Since his lower half of his body was hidden beneath the sheets, she couldn't see what he was wearing on the bottom but figured it was his boxers. Jess had a weird quirk about never getting under the covers in jeans. Said that it made the bed dirty.

Jess looked up for a blink of an eye and turned the page. "Why are you staring at me?" He asked half-heartedly, scribbling another notation on the margin of his notes.

Rory smiled. "You're pretty."

"That was masculine." He smirked.

She bit her lip and scooted closer, inching her way between his legs. Coming up between his knees, she rubbed them lightly above the covers. "You have a lot left to do?"

"Yeah, sorta. You wanna order a pizza? My phone's right over there on the dresser."

Rory shook her head and moved closer to him. "Maybe later."

" 'Kay." He still didn't look up. When her hair fell over his book and notes, he paused and glanced up in amusement. "You want something, Ror?"

She nodded. "Uh huh."

Jess raised his brows. "What?"

Rory kissed him in response, aware that she didn't usually initiate such things. Jess smiled against her, and his hands framed to her face while his fingers pushed away her hair. He shuffled lower onto the bed, pulling her flush against him with the covers between them. Rory pushed away his book and notes, hearing a dull thump on the floor. She felt his tongue trace along the seam of her lips and she parted, letting him explore. He made an appreciative noise and it pleased her, knowing that she could make him loose just a little bit of control.

Rory's hands pulled down the covers on his chest, seeking the hem of his shirt. She tugged it up but it lodged by his armpits. Jess broke the kiss and licked his swollen lips. "Rory?"

She nodded and pulled at his t-shirt again. "Off."

Jess narrowed his eyes briefly but didn't say anything. They had yet to break the skin barrier. He let her take it off and watched with heavy-lidded eyes as she laid her palms flat against his pectorals, her fingers stilling and feeling the steady thump-thump of his heart. Jess traced his thumb over the slight bow shape of her lips, waiting to see where she'll take things. When Rory dipped down and kissed his chest, Jess shifted and tightened his grip in Rory's hair, pushing her down very slightly. "Rory…" Jess hissed out her name when her lips closed around his nipple.

Rory savored the new and foreign taste of Jess, aware that her body was responding along with his. Her breasts felt sensitive and there was tightness between her legs that was building to a familiar pressure that she'd felt before. She wanted to feel Jess's hands on her, anywhere, everywhere, but didn't know how to ask. "Jess?"

He grabbed her shirt in response, pulling it over her head and through her arms. She used her feet to kick off the covers and he helped her, the blankets falling into a tangled heap onto the floor. Jess shifted and Rory felt that delicious feeling of his warm weight resting on her, enough to feel him, but not too much to crush her. He kissed her deeply and his hips moved on their own volition. It was a slow rubbing; the circular movements raised their arousal up another notch. Jess heard her whimper and grip the waistband of his boxers. When he felt her fingers slip below, searching, he pulled back. "Rory. Tell me what you want."

Rory licked her lips and slowly opened her eyes. She didn't respond with words, only bucking up into him, hoping he would get the picture.

He did, but still he kept his body motionless. "Rory, say the words." Jess didn't know why he pushed, only that it was important she say it aloud.

She bucked again and her words were breathless. "You. I want you."

It was all he needed to hear. Jess kissed her, his tongue taking over, directing the pace and tone of their kiss. The movements of his hips were less aimless and now felt like thrusts instead of grinding. His hands went down to her jeans. "Hips, baby. Lift your hips."

Rory complied and watched wide-eyed as Jess sat back on his haunches and dropped her pants onto the carpeting. She expected him to remove her underwear as well, but he didn't. She suspected that he wanted to leave her that last portion of protection, feeble as it was, should she change her mind. She wasn't going to change her mind but it was sweet of him. He kissed the hollow of her hipbone and undid the front clasp of her bra. Nudging it aside, Rory watched his tongue peek out to taste the freckles right above the modest swells. She bit her lip, knowing that she wasn't the most endowed in that area.

He must have caught the action because he cupped the other in his free hand and his mouth worked slowly over her left breast. "Perfect."

Rory's breathing hitched and she held back her gut reaction to cry. She held his head down to her, arching into his clever mouth as his mouthed the underside of her breast. "Jess…I want," she sucked in her lip as she felt the sharp bite of his teeth. "I want…"

"I know." He kissed her mouth, tender lips. "We'll get there."

Rory hooked her arms under his biceps, reaching around to feel the smooth expanse of his back clench and release. "Get there sooner."

He chuckled. "So impatient." Jess tapped her on the nose.

"At least," she grunted, "give me something more."

Smiling against her skin, he lay down on his side and they both watched his hand slide down her chest, down her stomach, finally stopping at the top of her underwear. His fingers danced over the cheery yellow fabric. "Sure?"

She lifted her hips. "Yes."

Jess cupped her for a moment, just feeling her. When he slid a finger into her, he watched her face intently. He dropped his forehead onto hers as he felt the involuntary clenching. "Jesus, Rory, you're tight."

She burrowed her head into the crook of his shoulder for a moment. Rory took a shuddering breath, bit her lip, and confessed. "I haven't…ever…I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you had always assumed that I had," she broke off for a second when he looked up in surprise, "with Dean, but I just couldn't. I couldn't. I didn't love him. Not really, and I couldn't go through with it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Shh." He whispered close to her lips, soothing her. "Calm down. I don't care about it."

"You don't?"

Jess kissed her brow. "No. Of course not." Lying down on the bed next to her, he removed his hands and just brought them up and around her waist, hugging her close. "It doesn't matter."

She ran her hands up and down his chest, reassuring herself that he was real. "I'm sorry."

He chuckled and let her see his grin to lighten the mood. "It's my first time too, you know."

She choked out a garbled laugh and slapped an open palm to his chest. "That was probably the worst lie you've ever told me."

He smiled, glad that he was able to ease the tension. "Well, it's _our_ first time."

Jess was patient, teasing her with gentle kisses with his tongue flickering playfully. He pushed her to the edge with his mouth at her breast, his hands lazily traveling over her body, dipping into her belly button, over the curve of her hip, behind the ticklish backs of her knees. He let her do her share of exploration as well. Her shy but inquisitive investigation drove him out of his mind. Jess learned the language of her sighs, the sharp intakes of breath, and the hissed out release of air when he hit a sensitive spot.

He let the natural rhythm build, her body swirling close to the brink and then he would gently push her over, catching her at the other side. When she was boneless, he protected the both of them with a condom and was met with only a brief obstruction. He let Rory adjust to the new sensation and though she didn't climax the first time he was inside, he made it up to her after with a persistent mouth and open kisses against her, coaxing one last orgasm out of her before they were exhausted, lying on the bed with their limbs entwined.

* * *

"Morning." Jess's voice was deep, scratchy from sleep.

She turned and felt him nuzzle her neck. "Hi."

"Sleep good?"

Rory nodded, feeling the incredible warmth of his skin. There was a temperature difference between them and his body was toastier than hers. "Yes."

"My arm's dead asleep but it was worth it." He chuckled.

"Oh!" She moved away, letting him retract his arm from under her head. "Sorry." Rory grinned.

"It's okay." He snuggled back into her, reaching under the covers to fit her leg over his hip.

Rory smiled shyly, feeling his hardening arousal. "Don't you have class in like an hour?"

Jess nipped her shoulder. "If this isn't a reason to skip it, I don't know what is."

"I'll feel guilty for making you miss class," she protested even as she let his wandering hands shape her breasts and tease her nipples.

"Give me half an hour and you'll forget about your guilt." He rolled her on top of him, grinning like a naughty boy.

She skimmed down his body but winced when he brushed up against her.

Jess peered into her eyes. "Sore?"

"No." Rory squirmed but admitted, "yes."

He got up, pulling her along. "Come on, let's take a hot shower."

Rory stumbled a step. "Together?" It was the first thing that popped into her mind.

Tugging a t-shirt over her head, he grabbed clean boxers for her to slip into as well. "Yes." He chuckled at her question. "Together." Jess stepped into a pair of basketball shorts and led her out of his room and to the bathroom in the hall.

Paul looked up from the kitchen table at the noise and he grinned broadly as he saw Rory's hand tucked securely into Jess's. Snickering, Paul noticed that Rory blushed and pulled down the hem of the t-shirt that she wore. "Hey man."

Jess's chuckle could be heard even though the pair had already disappeared around the corner. "Mornin' Paul."

* * *

"Hey, is Rory here?"

"Yeah, she's in the shower. I'm heading out, so feel free to…whatever."

"Thanks." Jess shook his head at Rory's roommate, Cindy, retreating out of the room. She always made insinuations at their love life, even when Jess came by to watch Jeopardy with Rory. It was a standing tradition that they played along with the contestants. Rory was a fanatic about the game show. She even had lap-sized dry erase boards so they could fill in their final Jeopardy answers. It was crazy how involved they got with playing but they loved it.

_Well, as long as Cindy's making assumptions. Might as well prove her right_…Jess snickered at the thought and headed towards the tiny bathroom. Turning the knob, Jess heard Rory humming to lousy 80s pop songs. He couldn't keep from chuckling. "Hey babe."

"Ah!" She whipped around the shower curtain, blinking through a haze of shampoo. "Jess Mariano!"

"Oh yeah," he tugged off his t-shirt and grinned like a fool. "Scream my name."

She laughed. "Get the hell out of here. Don't think you're getting lucky after you just scared me out of my mind." Rory kept the curtain wrapped around her. "I mean it! Don't you dare come in here."

He smirked. "I dare."

* * *

Jess slammed the door behind him and flung his keys on the counter.

"Geez, man, what's up?" Paul looked up from his computer station. Since he was a techie, his electronic equipment was enough to make every geek drool.

Jess rubbed his forehead, hoping to push back the headache. "Nothing."

"That sounds like woman troubles to me."

He couldn't help but chuckle wryly. "Yeah."

"How's Rory?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Other than being as stubborn as a mule and pissed off at me, she's great."

"She kick you out?"

"No, I left."

Paul raised his brows in question. "Isn't that gonna piss her off more?"

Jess opened the refrigerator and came out with a plate of leftover lasagna. "No, it's just what we do. We fight, get angry, and give each other space."

"Dude, I'm no expert with women, but how do you two ever solve anything if you're always giving each other space?"

Jess scowled and immediately defended his relationship with Rory. "It works for us."

Paul shrugged and turned back to his computer. "Whatever. It's your life."

Leaning against the sink, Jess munched on the lasagna and thought about what Paul just said. It did work for them, right? But as Jess thought about it, he recalled some of the fights they had when they were friends. He frowned as he replayed today's conversation. Jess somehow let it slip that he knew Rory's dad was getting married again and that she had been sent an invitation, plus a request that she be a bridesmaid. They both got upset. Rory didn't appreciate that Jess had saw the invitation on her desk a few days ago and hadn't told her that he knew and Jess was upset at the fact that Rory purposely didn't tell him.

When they started to fight about things that had nothing to do the topic on hand, Jess had told Rory that he'd see her tomorrow and calmly left her apartment.

Jess grabbed his keys from the counter and headed in the direction of the dorms. They needed to solve things now. Paul was right; they never really resolved their fights because they just let them wilt away. But they didn't work things out. Jess knocked on the door of her dorm and was told that Rory had left for home a few hours ago. That did it; they needed to get this out in the open. She couldn't run away every time they disappeared and he couldn't always give her space if they wanted to solve things.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Jess appeared at the threshold of her bedroom.

She scrunched up her face. "How did you get in?"

"The front door. I do occasionally come through there, you know. I don't always crawl through the window." He smirked. "Your mom let me in."

"Why?"

Jess cocked an eyebrow. "Because I asked."

"Great," Rory muttered under her breath, "now she likes you."

He leaned against her bookcase. "Why did you run away?"

"I didn't run. I took a bus."

Jess rubbed his eyes. "Rory, I'm tired. I just drove all the way down here and it's almost midnight."

She felt bad for a moment. "You didn't have to." She reminded him in a soft voice.

"No, you're right. I didn't have to. I choose to."

Rory gnawed on her thumbnail. "I would have gone back tomorrow. You know that."

"Yes, I know that. You wanted space and I gave it to you without pushing. When you started to get too upset, I left you alone knowing it was what you wanted. But you took the space a little too far, don't you think? Leaving the city?"

"I just wanted to come home."

Jess sat at the foot of the bed. "Rory, you're taking me for granted."

"What?" She raised her voice in quick denial.

"Hold on, don't get upset." He held up his hand. "I mean we take each other for granted. I know you like I know myself. I knew you wanted space and I gave it to you without you needing to ask. We take for granted how familiar we are with one another. We can't…" Jess thought about it. "We can't treat this," he gestured back and forth, "like we did when we were friends."

"It worked for us then."

"Yes," Jess replied while toying with her bedspread. "It did. But we're not just friends anymore, Ror. And I'm not saying there's a difference only because we're sleeping together now. I," he hesitated, wondering if he should finish the sentence. "I put you first in my life these days."

Rory's eyes welled up with tears.

"You were always important to me, but it's different now. It's…more." He smiled softly. "And treating our relationship the same way as before isn't going to work. Like tonight. You can't just skip town or avoid me until things blow over. It was fine when we were friends, but it's not okay now."

It was hard to be mad at someone who just admitted that you came first in his life. Rory sighed. "I was upset when I found out that you knew."

"Were you keeping it from me deliberately?"

"Not really. I just didn't want to talk about it yet. Everything else was going so well with us. It's only been a few weeks since we started to, you know, and I liked…just being together."

"Rory," Jess moved to sit next to her on the bed. "Talking about it, even if we got upset, wouldn't screw things up for us."

"It's a weird feeling." She picked up Howard and stroked his upturned belly. "When we were friends, if we fought, I knew it would sort itself out later. There wasn't much that could happen that made me fear loosing you. But with this," she let go of the otter and took Jess's hand instead. "This doesn't have any sort of guarantee."

Jess chuckled. "No, I don't think you can take out insurance on a relationship."

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew what you would say. I didn't want to hear it."

He tipped up her chin. "And how did you know what I was going to say?"

"I just know you!"

"This is what I mean. We know each other so well that I can just raise an eyebrow or point and you could fill in the blanks. But what I would have said a couple of years ago as you friend isn't the same thing I would say as your boyfriend." He kissed her faintly. "As your lover."

"So you're not going to tell me that I should go."

Jess reclined on the bed, taking her down with him, laying them side-by-side. "No, I'm not going to _tell_ you. I'm going to say that I think you might regret it in the future, but I'm also upset with Chris for putting you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you choose to go, I'd go with you. If not, then fine, I'll support your decision."

"I don't know." Rory yawned. "Can I decide later?"

Jess kicked off his shoes, hearing them drop on the floor and pulled the covers over them. "Yeah, we can talk about it later." He flicked off her bedside lamp, bathing the room in soft moonlight.

"I'm sorry I left."

"I understand." Jess hugged her to him, his arm naturally curving around her waist. "Just don't do it again if you can help it."

"All right." Rory wiggled in his grasp, finding his mouth in the dark. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too." There were things that needed to be said that were finally in the open tonight. Jess had bounced around the thoughts on the drive down. He knew that their friendship was a little dysfunctional at times. She relied on him a lot and they each subsequently took their connection as an alternate form of communication. While it was fine for them as friends, Jess knew that it had to potential to cause problems now that they were in a committed relationship. He was glad that they were able to talk about it and that she understood his point.

"I love you, you know?" Rory realized that it was the first time they said it in the context of being together. In the past, even though it was only uttered a few times, those three words meant a deep friendship, not a relationship. But now when she said those words, it meant something new. Something more.

Jess nudged her and felt the connection of their lips. "Ditto."

Rory giggled, breaking the heavy emotional content. "Now I wish I wasn't home."

"Why?"

"So we can make up…" She brushed her hands lightly over the fly of his jeans. "Officially."

He laughed softly. "We still can." Jess unbuttoned her top, pushing it off her shoulder.

Rory went for his pants, undoing the snap and zipper. They got undressed and made love under the covers, their moans muted in kisses. Her small twin bed squeaked slightly when he pulled her on top, letting her set the pace. He bit his lip when she sank down on him, slowly, inch by inch. Jess's hands went to her hips, guiding her motions. They found a rhythm that worked for them both and when she was close, he reached between her legs to press against her hidden spot and he watched with a smile when she cried out like a keening kitten.

* * *

The next morning, Lorelai caught them huddled close together. Rory was sitting on the counter next to the sink with the newspaper open on her lap while Jess leaned in, caging in her body with his. He nuzzled against her neck and whispered something that made Rory laugh. They discussed the new columnist in the _Times_ and passed a Pop-Tart back and forth. When they noticed that they were being watched, Jess pulled away and politely greeted Lorelai before retreated into the bathroom. Rory smiled at her mom and chatted until Jess reappeared with damp hair. He kissed Rory's cheek and whispered to her that he would go see his parents, leaving her time to spend with her mom.

When Lorelai saw the shared smile and the way that Rory's eyes tracked Jess's movement out the door, she had to admit that they were good together. "I didn't think you were serious when I found out that you two were together."

Rory didn't take offense to the statement. "Why?"

"Because he's older than you and you had that crush on him when you were young. I just, didn't think it would be serious."

"What made you change your mind?"

Lorelai smiled softly at her daughter. "Just seeing you together right now. It's more than a crush or some causal thing." She got up and filled a mug of coffee. "Am I right?"

Rory bit her lip and tried to downplay her smile. "Yeah, I hope so."

* * *

**AN: **Writing notes for this chapter are posted on forum. In addition, I've created a new thread where I wrote the comprehensive notes for all the previous chapters. Thought/comments are appreciated in the forum.

**Do your part...please read and review :)**

(huh, that just sounded like a public service announcement. But still, review please).


	9. No Regrets

**The Ebb and Flow**

Chapter 9: No Regrets

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

**AN: **Well, this is it. The last chapter. Hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have.

**Summary**: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

* * *

"What am I doing here?" Rory looked around, keeping a death grip on Jess in one hand and a cup of punch in the other.

"It'll be fine."

"No, no it won't." She curled her toes in her shoes, already feeling the effects of wearing high heels. Her feet were going to be sore before they ever got to the reception. "And why did I agree to be a bridesmaid? Was I out of my mind?"

Jess nuzzled her cheek in response. "Why don't you think about the hotel room waiting for us in a couple of hours. It's like our first getaway."

"Yeah, some getaway," Rory scoffed. "We didn't choose the location, we had schlep our way all the way here, and I'm stuck in some dress that with my luck, will probably fall off, or burst apart at the seams." She tugged the strapless dress, fearing that it would expose more than it was supposed to. "It's so tight, they had to tape me in here. _Tape_, Jess. Did you hear that? There should not be tape anywhere near here."

He grinned at her being so grumpy. "I like the dress." Jess cocked an eyebrow and pretended to leer down the front. "Has potential." He stepped closer to whisper in her ear. "If you're taped in there, does that mean you're not wearing a bra?"

Rory flushed. "I'm not saying anything."

Jess pursed his lips, considering her response. "Hm, I'll just wait then. I'll find out when I take it off."

"Jess…" Rory whined. "Seriously, I don't think I can do this. How can I stand there and pretend to be happy for them when I'm not?"

His expression sobered. "Rory, you know your parents weren't _that_ happy. Your mom told you so herself. Isn't it better that they parted ways instead of staying together, fighting all the time?"

"I don't know." She took a sip of punch and winced. "It's just, it's my _family_, you know? It's hard to see your dad say 'I do' to some other woman who's not my mother."

"I know." He hugged her close. "That's why I'm here. To whisper innuendos in your ear so that you won't fall apart."

"How about we make a run for it?" She gave him her puppy dog face.

He pretended to consider it. "The best I can do is offer to sneak you a glass filled with something alcohol. But if I get caught and arrested, my official story is, 'Gee, Officer, she told me she was twenty-one.' "

She laughed softly. "Fine. Glass of champagne for later. No, make that a couple glasses."

Jess imitated a disapproving tsk-tsk. "Don't want to get drunk young lady, someone might take advantage of you."

"Oh don't worry. I'm going to _give_ him the advantage."

Jess chuckled. "Come on, I think you're supposed to be in a room where they cage all the bridesmaids together and they worry about their hair and makeup and compare notes on men."

* * *

Jess waited on the sidelines for Rory to complete her bridesmaid duties. She posed for pictures, let people fluff her hair, and walked into the reception area on the arm of a groomsmen. When she was seated next to him, Jess felt her lean into his side. "Hanging in there?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"At least you don't have to give a speech."

"Thank god for that." Rory picked up her water glass and took a sip. Reluctantly, she spoke. "The ceremony was beautiful though, wasn't it? I hate to say that, but it was."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Rory grinned and turned to give Jess a quick peck. He might be a sensitive guy who had no problems admitting it, but he probably drew the line at admiring the beauty of a wedding that really had nothing to do with him. "They wrote their own vows."

Jess looked confused momentarily. "Doesn't everyone?"

"No." Rory giggled.

He shrugged one shoulder. "What do I know about weddings?"

Without even knowing it, Rory held her breath as her father and his new bride walked into the room. People clapped but she couldn't. It was the end of her family. Yes, her mom had confessed that they had problems that didn't seem to have apparent solutions and that both her and Chris were equally unhappy with their marriage…_but_ _still_, Rory thought. _That's my dad._ "Do you think he loves her like he used to love my mom?" Rory whispered.

Jess's arm around her waist tightened just a fraction. "I don't think Chris stopped loving Lorelai completely."

"Why not? Isn't that how it works? You stop loving someone and you want another life apart from them."

"I don't know, sweetheart, I really don't. Maybe the love just changes." Jess rubbed his face against her shoulder bared by the strapless gown that she wore. "Your parents were young when they first got together, you know? And they were young when they got married. Sometimes things like that just…change as people get older. Fizz out." Jess squeezed his eyes tightly together. _Fuck_. In his effort to calm Rory by examining her parent's relationship, he inadvertently mirrored their own relationship.

Rory didn't miss the implication of his accidental slip. She kept her eyes on the happy couple making their way onto the dance floor instead of turning to look at Jess. "Is that how you feel?"

"I," Jess paused. "It's not what I _feel_, it's…the truth." He wanted to smack himself. "Rory, please turn around."

When she did, she looked expectant. Not angry, just waiting to hear his response. "Yes?"

Softly, Jess tried to explain. "There are no guarantees, Rory. Nothing in life can be secure. Yes, maybe things do die down as people get older. On the other hand, look at those couples who have been together longer than they've been driving. Some of those are high-school sweethearts, you know?"

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better." Rory nibbled on her lower lip.

Jess chuckled ruefully. "No, it doesn't make me feel any better either. Maybe what makes it better is that I won't _ever_ regret what we have. Even if for some reason it doesn't work for us. I…I love you. Right now. To be best of my ability. Nothing guarantees what I'll feel a week from now, a year, or twenty years. Same with you. But I don't regret a single minute I've spent with you."

Rory didn't know what to say. It wasn't the best reassurance. In truth, she wanted something more. Some big declaration on Jess's behalf that he would love her forever. That he wanted to marry her, love her forever, and take care of her. But seeing her dad dancing from the corner of her eye made her pause. He did look happy. _Maybe he doesn't regret any time he spent with Mom, either_. She nodded and kissed Jess gently. "I don't regret anything either."

With nothing else to say, he just held her as they watched the newlyweds gliding around the dance floor, each with a smile on their face.

* * *

Jess turned his wrist to check the time once again. Signaling to move to another lane, he sat up taller in his seat, hoping to see if there was any upcoming traffic. The sound of his cell phone pealing alerted him. Scooting forward, he tried to reach into his pocket. "Hold on, hold on," Jess muttered to the caller. "Damn." He hit the connect button without looking at the screen. "Yeah, Rory?"

"No. Jess, where are you?" Luke's voice filled his ear.

Jess rolled his eyes. This was the third time Luke had called him since starting the car. "Mexico. I'm driving; where do you think I am?"

"Are you almost here?"

Jess scowled. "I'm going as fast as I can, Luke. Cut me some slack, all right?"

"Slack?" Luke sounded incredulous while he whispered into the phone, "the ceremony is in ninety minutes. Where the hell are you?"

"Luke! Look, I'll be there, okay? Constantly calling me isn't going to make the car go any faster."

"She's graduating, Jess. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, since she is _my_ girlfriend and I speak to her on an daily basis, I'm well aware of what today is."

"Well, you can't—"

Jess strained to hear what sounded like Lorelai whispering and giggling something that bordered on being inappropriate. "What's going on? Was that Lorelai?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah it was." Luke sounded embarrassed.

Jess's eyes widened. "Damn, Luke, are you and Lorelai—"

"No!" Luke stammered. "Well, I mean, maybe. Hey, it's none of your business."

Jess chuckled. "Fine, I'll get the story from Rory. Speaking of which, where is she?" He hadn't spoken to her since last night.

"Lorelai's doing her hair. She can't talk right now."

"Don't tell her I'm running late, okay?"

"What?"

Jess sighed. "I don't want her to worry. Besides, I don't think I'm going to be that late."

"_That late_?"

"Calm down, Luke. I'll get there. Don't call me anymore unless it's an actual emergency."

"Damn kid. Ever since you moved…" Jess hung up on Luke's muttered rambling.

Jess checked his watch again.

* * *

Tugging on his jacket, Jess ran across the courtyard to where the ceremony was supposed to be held. His tie hung undone around his neck. Craning his neck, he saw some students rising to receive their diplomas and he paused to listen to the announcer call out the names. He was already announcing the last names that began with F. There was no hope of trying to look for Lorelai, Luke, and whoever else showed up, so Jess made his way to the side where some parents were standing with young children who appeared to be too antsy to sit still on the lawn chairs.

As the Gs were called, row after row stood up with no sign of Rory. Finally, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore was called and Jess watched as Rory made her way across the stage, take a hold of her diploma, shake the offered hand, look over in the direction of what had to be her mom, and walk off. Jess's lips twitched in a smile, thinking about what they've gone through the last couple of years.

After Jess's graduation, he had been offered a job in Boston working for a local newspaper. He had initially declined the offer, not wanting to move away from New York but when the other job offers tapered off and wasn't as good as the Boston one, he and Rory decided that it was best for him to move. They parted much more reluctantly and with more tears than they had when he moved away from Stars Hollow the first time. It was going to be hard to maintain a long-term relationship and they both knew it. They were also afraid of the consequences.

When Rory was beginning her junior fall semester, they began to feel the effects of the distance. The phone calls went from daily to every other day because they were equally busy. From every other day it went down to a two times a week. They fought about things that should not have been issues between them. Jess couldn't make it for her birthday party because he got a last minute assignment. Rory had to cancel her plans to go visit him because she had a paper to finish. It was a rough patch and after a while, they agreed to take some time apart to focus on their own lives. It was hard. No longer lovers, their friendship suffered as well. They didn't know how to go back to being just friends when they had been intimate for so long.

But it made it work. The phone calls started back up and when Jess made the trip to visit her, they talked through the night. Jess told her about his job at the newspaper and Rory discussed her new roommate. When they covered all the surface ground, they dug deeper. They each confessed that they were scared. They didn't know where they stood in terms of their friendship and they knew that their relationship was on equally shaky ground. But they also knew that they missed each other. It was a mistake that they had taken their friendship and their relationship as a given. They stopped working at it and that's when it fell apart.

Jess took a few days off work and stayed with Rory. Slowly, they started to rebuild their relationship. When Jess left after the long weekend, it was with a kiss. The next day, he called and their phone conversations soon became light hearted and playful. Jess visited her more often, taking her out on dates as if they had never gone out before. Rory called nightly and they watched and played along with Jeopardy.

Almost three months later, they decided that they wanted to give it another try and recommit. True to form, Rory made out a list of things that they had to sign and agree upon before they were officially back together. They couldn't go forty-eight hours without calling one another. They preferred early morning and late night phone calls that way they got the feeling of waking up and going to bed together. At least once every two weeks, they needed to see each other face to face and Jess insisted that they had to make it an overnight stay. They alternated who made the trip to visit the other, although Jess ended up driving out to see Rory more than the other way around. It was just easier that way. They also agreed that if they had a disagreement, they had to fight in person. The last point worked. They stopped avoiding each other when they were angry and they worked through their problems.

_It certainly wasn't easy_, Jess thought, as he watched Rory disappear back into the crowd, but it was worth it. Picking up his cell, he hoped that Rory left hers on. "Jess?"

"Hey you." Jess's voice deepened at thought of her. "Sorry I was late. But I made it. I saw you walk across. You look great, by the way."

"Thank you." She sounded like she was smiling. "I knew you'd come. Luke was freaking out trying to keep it hidden from me. I should be upset, but I'm not."

Jess walked away from the crowd. "Good, but I'll apologize anyways." He adopted a playful tone. "Tell me, you wearing anything under that cap and gown?"

She giggled. "Yes I am, you lecher."

"So how long do you think we're going to have to sit through whatever your family has planned for you before I can get you naked? Preferably into the nearest bed?"

"There's the pictures I'll have to take with everyone and dinner. My grandparents are taking us out." Rory paused. "Where are you anyways?"

Jess looked around. "I'm over by the bleachers. On the right side if you're looking from the graduation platform. Where are you?"

"Hold on, I'm coming over to you."

Jess tried to peer around the people who were engulfing newly graduated students in tight hugs. Finally, he spotted the only graduate he cared about. In a flurry, she jumped into his arms and he held onto her bottom. "Hi there."

Rory smiled. "Copping a feel in public?"

"Hey, you were the one who jumped." Although he pretended to complain, he didn't set her on the ground just yet. "Give me a kiss first."

She complied, keeping it short and sweet. But when she pulled back, she rested her forehead against his. "Hi."

Jess smirked. "If you keep looking at me like that I'm going to drag you back to your dorm. Or better yet, just make off with you back to my place and forget about everything else." He let her legs slide back onto the ground.

"That sounds good."

"Probably not so good to the Gilmore grandparents though."

She stood taller to give him another kiss, this time lingering close. "Missed you."

"Hm, missed you too."

Her cell phone rang in her hand. "That must be my mom wondering where I am."

"Come on Girl of the Moment," Jess slung his arm over her shoulders, "let the celebrations begin."

* * *

"Here you go Rory, they say it's the best one on the market."

She smiled and accepted the gift graciously. "Thanks Grandpa." Peeling back the tissue paper she revealed a very shiny and expensive looking digital camera. "Wow, thank you."

Jess sat and watched as Rory took in gift after gift. No matter how big or small she accepted them all with a smile on her face as if they had just given her the world. When Rory finished opening them all, she surreptitiously checked her pile, noting that she hadn't opened anything from Jess.

"Looking for something?" Jess squeezed her thigh under the table.

"No." She smiled, hating how Jess could read her mind.

"Little liar." He chuckled warmly into her ear as her grandparents started to chat with Lorelai. Nuzzling against her hair for a brief moment, he whispered, "You'll get it later when we're alone."

Rory blushed, a pink hue immediately flooding her in heat. "Jess!"

He smirked. "Dirty mind. I wasn't talking about sex. But now that you mention it…" He snuck his hand higher up her thigh until she slapped it away. "Don't look so worried. I'm not really going to feel you up with your family at the table." Jess muttered under his breath.

"So you really have a present for me?"

"Of course."

She looked delighted. "What is it?"

"Just wait."

"No, tell me." Rory picked up another roll from the breadbasket and buttered it. "Please, Jess, please."

Jess looked over at Lorelai and saw that she was pointing something out to Luke. Richard and Emily were busy discussing the wait staff at the restaurant and how excellent the service was. "Reach in my pocket."

Rory scoffed good-naturedly. "I'm not falling for that one again."

"Come on, it's not a dirty joke."

"You sure?"

Jess smirked. "Promise."

"Okay." Rory's small hand reached into the pocket of his slacks but all she felt was a key.

Her confused expression swung to Jess who was looking at her in all seriousness. Softly, he spoke. "Wanna add the label of 'roommate' to that of 'girlfriend'?"

Rory's mouth fell open. "I…I—"

"Rory, are you okay?" Lorelai placed a comforting hand on her forearm.

Shaking her head as if to clear cobwebs, "yeah, yeah." Rory opened the little menu on the middle of the table. "What are we having for dessert?" Then the lights went off in her head as what Jess said finally clicked. "Oh my god!"

Jess chuckled as he reached over to rub Rory's arm. As the whole table looked at Rory in curiosity, Jess just raised an expectant eyebrow at Rory, giving her the decision of breaking the news. "Um, yeah, they have double fudge chocolate cake."

"Sounds good." Jess rested his chin on Rory's shoulders, trying to hold back his laughter.

* * *

Snug against Jess's chest, Rory toyed aimlessly with his hand lying lax in front of her. She twined their fingers together, reveling in the difference in skin tone, texture, and feel. From behind, she could hear the slight snore coming from Jess, signaling that he was exhausted.

Her eyes strayed to the nightstand where a solitary key was sitting. She smiled, thinking of how Jess seemed so nervous after they finished dinner with her family. He had been confident when he slipped that surprise to her, whispering those words that made her belly churn with equal parts excitement and anxiety. She was ready, she thought. Well, the part of her that wasn't ready was overruled by the enjoyment of the idea of venturing into such a commitment with Jess. She knew they were in it for the long haul, but after that little breakup a while ago, she learned not to take what they shared as a fact written in concrete. Their relationship was as fragile as anything else. Maybe it helped that they shared such an intertwined history, or maybe it didn't do squat. Either way, she knew that there wasn't anyone else she wanted to move in with besides him.

The sheets rustled behind her, his right leg looping over hers, clamping her tight. "Asleep?"

"Nope."

He nuzzled the back of her neck, trying to push away the hair. "So?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think?" He levered up on his elbow to peer over her shoulder and down into her face. "I'm not trying to push or anything but…you wanna live together?"

Her smile was slow in spreading. "Yeah, I think that sounds pretty good to me."

He dipped down to taste her lips, the softness the undeniable feeling of his Rory. "Good." Settling on top of her, he lazily explored her as if he had all the time in the world. _And with her moving in_, he smiled inwardly, _we do have all the time we want_.

* * *

_Holy fucking sh—_. His brain cut off, loosing all ability to process anything but the feeling of Rory above him, riding his hips hard. "Jesus, Rory."

He watched, loving this position. It gave him free reign of his hands and just the sight of watching her take him was enough to get him off every time. The thought of Rory using him to feel good, in turn, made _him_ feel fantastic.

Rory felt her thighs clench; she was close and knew it as much as she knew her own name. Her fingers curled, feeling Jess's skin that was slight damp with sweat. She could feel his hands gripped onto her hips, his own fingers digging into her skin, keeping their movements in tandem. He was waiting for her, that much she knew. Jess was ever the gentleman in bed. _Ladies first_, that was his policy. Though more than once when he was poised above her body with his devious fingers and tongue, he would smirk and tack onto his statement, _ladies first…second…third…_

Finding a rhythm that suited them both wasn't always an easy task. They discovered that early on in their relationship. Rory's body needed to be eased in and a too direct touch usually pushed her to a plateau, not off the edge. But Jess liked a more persistent touch. The best for them was to have Rory climax first and once she finished the first, she usually was ready for another go around, this time with Jess.

Her muscles tightened, gripping him. Rory whimpered and her back bowed right into him. Jess caught her, easing Rory into his chest. Jess held back his own climax, wanting to wait for her. Smoothing her hair off her face, he smiled. "Good?"

At first, Jess's vocal tendencies in bed stole her own ability to form words due to embarrassment. Jess had no qualms whatsoever to ask how her orgasm was. And if her answer wasn't up to par, he usually doubled his efforts with a quick grin gracing his features. But after a while, Rory no longer blushed like she was on fire when he prodded for feedback. In fact, she liked it. Though she never told him as much. It pleased her that he would put so much effort in making sure she was satisfied.

Rory nodded and cuddled into him. She knew he wasn't going to wait more than a couple more heartbeats. _Couldn't_ wait. When she felt him grind his molars, she cupped his face, her fingers catching the curve of his ears. Slowly, she moved on him, the movement faster and more direct. When she lifted up on her knees, he held her still above him, taking over and thrusting up into her.

She settled down on his hips once more, grinding her pelvis into him and he locked his arms around her like a vise, bringing her flat into his chest as he pumped up into her. Once, twice, and he was gone. His neck was thrown back, the muscles corded tight. At the feel of his climax, Rory held on a few more seconds, feeling her own coming within reach once again. She buried her face into his throat, licking an absentminded path up and down until she found her own release again.

Jess's fingers found their way into her hair, shifting and tucking behind her ears. "Hey roomie."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me _this_ is the way you wake up your roommates."

Jess laughed. "Just you."

She snuggled down into him, giving into the moment and momentarily pushing back the need to get up and shower. She had things to do today, but she wanted five more minutes with the man beneath her.

A man who was only a boy when he was her friend. A boy who sheltered her when she needed to be held. The boy who became a man and later, her lover. He was a lover that went beyond just the sharing of bodies. He had given her his heart long before he gave his body.

And it was the heart that she treasured.

That delicate prize that was hers to keep.

Hers to love.

* * *

**AN:** That's all. Hope you've enjoyed it.

My writing notes are posted on forum.

**Please read and review.**


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